My Final Heaven
by Zell373
Summary: Hard times have fallen upon Zell as he seems to be having trouble. Quistis seems to despise the young blonde, but why?
1. Unable to do Anything Right

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or actions pertaining to Final Fantasy VIII. Dedicated to GF. Hope you like it, enjoy.

Ch.1 Can't do Anything Right

As the dying sun began to set, it cast a vibrant hue of deep orange across the evening sky. As Zell  
steps onto Balamb's beautiful sandy beach, he enjoys the feeling of the warm golden sand spill over  
his feet.

"_Well, though the walk down here was rough on the old piggies, it was sure worth it not to get sand in my sneakers while training."_ Zell mused to himself with a smile. He slowly began to cast off his rather short jacket and tight black muscle shirt, to reveal an ungodly defined upper torso. As Zell stands on the warm silky beach with nothing on besides his patented oversized baggy blue jean shorts and ehrgeiz gloves, he gazes at the effervescent night sky, wishing that just once he could share this beautiful sunset with someone other than himself.

Zell just shakes his head at the thought and lets his eyes and arms fall towards the ground. As he stands motionless, he can feel the cool sea breeze gently buffeting his hair. His breathing becomes deep and exaggerated; then in the blink of an eye he snaps backwards with a back flip, kicking sand into the eyes of his intangible foe.

Regaining his balance he shoots forward with horrific speed with a flurry of elegant yet destructive punches, each seemingly effortless on Zell's part, but to anyone else impossible. He then finishes his flurry of blows with a jumping spinning roundhouse kick, landing on the ball of his left foot with his right leg still in the air.

Many would find it hard and even quite humorous to consider Zell, yes Zell Dintch graceful, but when it comes to martial arts, he resembles that of a dolphin gliding through the ocean waves. Zell's intense training lasted about an hour or so and now sweat glistening off Zell's overheated flesh, causes him to cease his actions. Zell turns and sees the sun has finally set and decides it is time to head back, so he picks up his shirt and jacket and drapes them over his shoulder and proceeds on his journey home.

"OUCH!" A rather large yell escapes the seemingly small blonde as a sharp stone protrudes into the soft skin padding on his foot. "Damn stones, I knew I should have at least brought my snickers for the walk there and back; then I could have just taken them off when I was ready to start my training. BUT NO! I have to be a genius and decide not to bring them at all, great thinking Zell, just great."

After a few minutes of bickering to himself, Zell finally reached the gates of Garden. '_Shit, another fine mess you've gotten yourself into!' _Came Zell's response to realization that he doesn't have his card key to unlock the gate.

Zell stands at the gates for a few moments pondering whether or not he is going to try and break in or spend the night camping outside. Zell extends his arm to feel the warm breeze caress his skin."I suppose I could camp out here tonight, it isn't too cold out." Just as Zell was about to make his decision, an epiphany struck him like a freight train. "I can't stay out here, what if I oversleep! Then knowing my luck the cafeteria will be all out of hotdogs before I can even get one!"

That settled it, Zell's mind was made up; he was going to break in for the sake of hotdogs. Zell pulled his right ehrgeiz tighter on his fist, and just as he reared back ready to obliterate the control panel that was blocking him from his hotdogs a stern yell breaks his concentration.

"Zell Dintch! What in Hyne do you think your doing!" Zell looks up to see a rather peeved looking blonde haired instructor with her arms crossed in front of her chest staring him in the face.

"Uhh.." Zell mutters intelligently and begins to blush a bright fuchsia while rubbing the back of his head.

"Well?" replies the slightly taller female blonde.

"I…Uh…Kinda forgot my…ummm…card key…" The smaller younger blonde manages to stammer out.

"Oh so you thought you could just destroy Garden property and get away with it?" Replies Quistis even more annoyed at how rash Zell's actions can be.

Zell's face drops as a swarm of guilt corrodes his stomach.

"God Zell you're such a child! Don't you ever think before you do ANYTHING!" Quistis' words were dripping with an immense disdain.

"I…I'm sorry." Zell felt much like a chastised puppy, as Quistis stood there lecturing him and yelling at him for being totally irresponsible.

After another five minutes of being yelled at she finally decided to let him in and stormed off to her room. Zell's spirits have once again been shattered and he sluggishly strolls to his room. Upon entering his rather messy room, he steps over a huge mound of clothes, movies, and video games and collapses on his bed as a sea of blankets encases his fatigued body. He pulls off his gloves and sets them on his night stand while knocking over his lamp. "Ah dammit, well screw it, I aint pickin' it up."

Laying down gazing at the moonlight dancing with the shadows on his ceiling he began to puzzle thoughts clustering in his mind. '_Why is Quistis yelling at me so much lately? I swear she hates me more than anything, maybe even more than Seifer. All she has been doing lately is yelling at me and chastising me like some small child. It really got bad on our last mission, I know I messed up and got overanxious and set off all the alarms and almost blew the mission while putting everyone in danger, but it wasn't my entire fault. Seifer was the one who called me chicken-wuss and said I was too scared to even go into the facility, so it was mostly his fault. Plus you'd figure they would expect that teaming me up with Seifer wouldn't be a good idea. But when we got back everyone told me I was stupid and need to control my actions, but that was the end of it. Not Quistis, she made me feel like I shouldn't even….be alive….ha maybe if I wasn't everyone would be better off. All I do is cause trouble and put the lives of my friends in danger….Just like with...….' _Zell took a deep breath and swallowed the rather large lump in his throat and finished his sentence. '_….Tribia……….'_

Zell slowly grazes his fingers over his left wrist feeling a slight jagged rise in his skin. His eyes fall to the abrasion and with the moon casting just enough light he is able to see the fresh scare from a razor that danced over it a couple weeks ago, ready to drain the life from his veins, and make the lives of his friends and family much better.

Zell closed his eyes and rolled onto his side while whispering to the listening shadows. "But like everything else……I messed that up too."

A/N:This story was written b/c of GF474, he never finished his and it was amazing! This is a watered down version with changes, please read the other b/f reading this one. His was amazing, the best story I've ever read. Plot is basic ally the same, but much better:) I just promised a friend I would try my hand at mostly the same plot, but different things and ending. Mine isn't as good as his, nowhere near as good, but please review and enjoy. REMEMBER read GF474's first, it is the best, and the original, this is just a watered down version! later…


	2. Asking for Trouble

My Final Heaven

Ch.2: Asking for trouble.

Zell awakes to a terrible high-pitched scream. "Ugh...It's way too early for this." Zell rolls over and sees it is 6:45am. With the alarm clock still going off Zell's anger begins to flare up. "Damn clock!"

Zell gets up and starts to stumble towards the hideous noise. "Ahh shit!" Zell yelled after ramming his big toe into the side of his dresser, which dominates the eastern half of his room, causing him to fall ass first on the ground. Zell then grabs his foot and begins blowing on his toe and kissing it. "Ouch, ouch, ouch, oh my poor toe, it is going to be ok little guy."

Zell looks up and sees his clock is STILL going off. He looks around for something, anything to throw at it. "Damn clock take this!" Zell hurls his shoe at the un-expecting clock, knocking it off the dresser causing it to shatter. "Well at least the friggin' noise stopped." Zell said with finality.

"I suppose I should take a shower." Zell lifts up his right arm and smells himself. "Whew, I smell a little too manly, if you know what I mean, damn." Zell picks himself up off the floor and walks into his bathroom. He opens his shower door and turns on the faucet.

Waiting for the water to heat up Zell stands in front of his oversized mirror examining himself. "Am I really that unattractive?" Zell lets out a huge smile, showing off his purely white canines. "I mean how come I haven't had a girlfriend in like forever?" A scowl quickly replaces his smile at the thought of being alone.

With the water finally reaching a soothing temperature, Zell hops in. Its comforting rain pours down on Zell's exhausted body. A deep sigh escapes Zell's lips, as thoughts of the previous night's meeting with Quistis enters his mind.

"Huh….why does she seem to hate me so much? Why do I even care? Well of course I care because she is one of my closest friends, but it shouldn't get to me this much should it?" With his shower finished, he quickly gets dressed, nothing out of the ordinary, just his shorts, shirt and jacket.

With his clothes on he once again finds himself in front of his mirror. He lets out another exaggerated sigh and grabs his hair gel. After draining about half the bottle in his hand he lathers up his hair until it is all spiked, then he grabs a cluster of hair in the front and parts it in three large spikes, and finishes clustering the rest of his hair in another large spike towards the back.

Zell felt a sudden flare of pride as he realized he was probably the best hair stylist in all of Balamb. "Lookin' good." He smiles and winks to himself.

He takes one last look at his messy room and decides he'll clean it later. He then does his morning jog to the cafeteria. "Man I totally hope they got some hotdogs ready for me. I know it is supposed to be breakfast, but I just can't get enough of those delicious, mouthwatering beauties."

Upon reaching the lunch line Zell grabs a tray. "Ten hotdogs please." The lunch lady cocks an eyebrow and then just smiles while handing him a plate of steaming hotdogs. Zell walks over to his normal table in the right hand corner and sits down.

Just before he gets ready to inhale his food like some freak of nature he notices a certain blonde instructor sitting down all by herself drinking what appears to be tea or coffee and reading the _Balamb Chronicle_.

"What is she doing here, this early in the morning? I wonder if I should go talk to her and apologize for last night." After a few minutes of contemplating his actions Zell gets up the nerve to go sit with Quistis. _'whoa, what's the deal with these damn butterflies in my stomach?' _Zell inwardly questions himself while Quistis is giving him an awkward look.

"Yes?" Quistis asks obviously annoyed that he is near her.

"Hey Quisty, what's up?" Zell asks trying to sound overly cheerful.

"Zell I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't call me that." Came Quistis' stern remark.

Zell just looks down at his shoes. "Oh…ok sss….sorry," Zell stuttered. Quistis just seemed to block him out while reading her paper.

Zell's arms finally started getting tired from holding the tray with a mound of hotdogs on it. "Hey would you mind if I sat down with ya? My arms are getting tired from all these damn delicious hotdogs." Zell asked sheepishly.

Quistis didn't reply or even move. "Well I'll take that as a yes" came Zell's happy reply.

A loud sigh is heard from the female blonde as Zell takes a seat across from her. _'I knew this was a bad idea, she prolly wants to rip my head off for disturbing her. Maybe I should just leave.' _Zell sat there contemplating for a minute until the silence was broken by an overly cheerful brunette, in a blindingly bright yellow dress that was cut off about six inches from her hips, with overly large brown boots that seemed comfy enough, but went up way too high.

"Hiya Zelly! Hiya Quisty" came Selphie's brightened voice. "Hey you two, whatcha doin'?"

"Hey Selphie, sorry, but I was just leaving." Came Quistis' quick response, as if too find any reason to put blessed distance between herself and Zell. As Quistis got up Zell just stared and wondered.

After watching Zell stare at Quistis the whole time she was leaving, Selphie finally snapped her fingers in front of his face to make him to back to this world. "Hello, Zell, Earth to Zell."

"Oh sorry Selph." He started to blush as he spoke.

"Hey you know tomorrow is the day of the Garden Festival! I can't wait, I am so excited! Not to mention all the excruciating hours of work I had to put into it." Selphie said as she messaged her shoulders.

"Oh yeah…..yum……that's….uh….. tomorrow? I kinda…….forgot." Zell replied as he was filling his face.

"WHAT! You forgot about the best festival of the year?" Selphie yelled waving her arms like some lunatic. "Zell I am very disappointed in you." She said pointing an accusing finger in Zell's face.

Zell swallowed the immense food stuffed in his mouth, and stuck out his bottom lip like he was pouting. "I'm sorry Sefie."

Selphie couldn't help but smile and laugh. "Oh Zell, you do that to me every time, you brat."

"I know and it still works." Zell beamed and let out a huge grin, showing all the food still crammed in between his teeth.

Selphie put a hand over her mouth to keep her from laughing. "Whoa there Zelly, you need to brush." She burst out into a giggling fit.

Zell just smiled and went back to inhaling his food.

Selphie was the first to break the silence. "So Zell who you brining to the Festival?"

Zell's face quickly got red, and his excitable expression left. "Uhh…I don't know."

Selphie was in shock. "What do you mean you don't know! It is tomorrow you know!"

Zell just kept staring at his food as if looking for help. "Yeah I know it's tomorrow, but everyone already has dates and I don't think anybody wants to……never mind."

Selphie put her hand on Zell's as if encouraging him to continue.

Zell lets out a sigh and refuses to look Selphie in the eyes. "Well I don't think anybody wants to….go with me." Zell said in a near whisper.

Selphie looked shocked. "Oh Zell you know for a fact that aint true. Many girls would love to go with you, what about the sweet library girl? Oh I forget her name."

"Nope she is going with Nida." Came Zell's depressed response.

"Oh." Selphie thought for a moment and realized that there actually might not be a lot of girls who wanted to go with Zell. She noticed the silence between them was causing Zell to become even more depressed. "Well hey who wouldn't want to go with the guy who helped SAVE THE ENTIRE WORLD?" Selphie yelled trying to cheer him up.

Zell stopped eating and just sat there looking like he was going to cry.

That's when it hit her. "Zell, what about Quistis?" Selphie yelled not realizing she had jumped right out of her seat.

Zell jumped back at Selphie's enthusiasm, almost falling out of his chair.

"Well!" Selphie asked bouncing up and down.

Zell resumed his focus on the plate of hotdogs. "I….uh….don't think she is too happy with me right now."

"Oh nonsense, it wasn't your fault. Seifer was the one who told you to do it." Selphie said sticking up for her friend.

A small smile finds its way on Zell's lips, but just as soon as it arrived it just as quickly disappeared. "Well that's not how Quistis sees it."

"Humph." Selphie sat back in her and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Well don't worry about it, I will help you woo her over and make her die to go with you."

Zell's face light up like the sun. "Oh, really Selph? You'd do that for me!"

Selphie let out a huge smile. "Of course!" She exclaimed with finality. Selphie leaned over the table and began whispering what Zell would have to do.

It was nearing 8 o'clock and Quistis would start to begin her first class. Zell quickly ran to Selphie's dorm and grabbed the vase of flowers Irvine had given her. Yes he didn't like the idea of giving Quistis Selphie's flowers, but Balamb's market was too far away and he promised Selphie he would get her some ASAP.

He then sprinted as fast as he could to the classroom Quistis would be in. He received many strange looks from the underclassmen, but he just disregarded them. Upon reaching the door, he looked around to make sure nobody was coming and then snuck into the room and placed the flowers on Quistis' desk with a note attached.

Zell's heart was racing so fast he thought it was going to explode. He ran back to meet Selphie at her dorm.

"Well?" Selphie asked rather excitedly, clasping her hands together, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet.

"Yeah, I did it." came Zell's exasperated response.

"What?" asked Selphie unable to fully understand him.

Finally regaining his composure, Zell took a deep breath. "I said; yes, I did it."

"Oh goody, she'll be so excited." exclaimed Selphie clapping her hands together. "Well we should probably get to class, we only have five minutes."

"Oh yeah your right."

A hand shot up to Selphie's mouth. "Hey Zell isn't your first class with Quisty?"

Zell's eyes widen at the realization. "Oh Hyne your right."

Selphie once again resumed her bouncing. "Oh this is just great, now you came see her reaction and tell me what happened. But you better hurry up because you don't want to get her mad by being late."

"Yeah your right. Hey thanks again Selph." Zell said running out of the room.

Zell sprinted as hard as he could to try to make it to class on time. He didn't even have the time to apologize to the student he accidentally bumped in too. Just as the door was about to shut signally class was about to begin Zell burst in and in Zell fashion he clumsily tripped over his own feet, causing him to fall face first on the ground in front of the entire class, but most of all in front of Quistis.

The blonde instructor just shook her head. "Well Zell if you were on time you wouldn't have had to run here now would you? Now please get to your seat your disrupting my class."

Zell's face was so red it would have made Ifrit blush. He complied and quickly sprang to his feet and went to sit down.

Upon reaching his seat he looked up too see Quistis grab the card from the flowers. Sweat quickly began to congregate on Zell's palms as red tint began to infest his cheecks. "_Well this is it, I hope to Hyne she likes them and the card."_ She seemed pleased while reading, and even started to blush. It took a few moments, but she moved her lovely bouquet of white roses that were slightly dipped in magenta aside and finally began class.

After giving his full attention to Quistis for about an hour he couldn't take it anymore. He was way too bored to listen to her talk about hidden draw points, so he leaned back in his chair and fell into his own little world.

Quistis finally finished her lecture and signaled it was time to go. Everyone at once thrust their chairs out from their tables and started getting up. This new wave of commotion startled Zell causing his chair to lose its balance.

"Oh shi…." Was all he could get out before falling backwards, smashing his head off the ground. The smack could be heard in the next room. Everyone stopped and started to laugh. Zell just put on his goofy smile and started to get up. As soon as he got up he saw Quistis wasn't laughing.

"Mr. Dintch! How many times have I told you that you shouldn't lean back in your chair!"

Zell's smile soon melted away and his face was beat red. "Sorry"

Quistis just shook her head and walked back to her desk and started getting her papers ready for her next class. Zell just stood there in complete shock wondering way he always had to be a klutz.

"Zell, don't you think you should get going! Or are you going to be late for your next class as well?" Quistis asked in a sarcastic tone.

The smaller blonde snapped back to reality, but still didn't make eye contact with the female instructor. "Oh, yeah. Sorry again Quistis."

Zell left as quickly as possible. Upon reaching the hall he let his back hit the wall and sank down putting his head between his knees. _'God now she is never going to go the festival with me. I always mess everything up. Why can't I just be like Squall, for once in my life why can't I not screw anything up?'_

Sitting there dejectedly Zell was unaware of the presence that was nearing him.

"Hey Zell" came a deep masculine voice on his right.

Zell looks up to see who else, but Squall Leonheart, the one and only. Zell curses on the inside, but a fake smile manages to slither its way on Zell's face.

"Zell, what are you doing?"

"Oh nothing, just tying my shoe."

Squall looked at Zell knowing he was lying, but it wasn't his business if Zell didn't want to talk about it.

"Oh alright, hey you better get going your next class is about to start."

The young blonde got up and dusted off his shorts, and then with a wave of his hand bid farewell to his friend.

'_You know it's not fair, just because he is the commander of Garden doesn't mean he should be exempt from all his classes! Ugh what bullshit!' _Too busy with cursing squall in his head, Zell wasn't paying any attention to where he was going and walked right into Rinoa, knocking them both down.

"Ahh…Oh sorry Rin, I wasn't paying attention. Are you ok?" Zell asked obviously concerned for her well being.

"Oh Zell, don't worry about it wasn't your entire fault. I wasn't watching where I was going either."

Zell just smiled at his friend and helped her up. She really didn't know how strong Zell was until he practically ripped her arm out of socket by helping her to her feet.

Rinoa smiled and gave Zell a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks Zell."

Zell started to blush as he rubbed the back of his head. "No prob Rin."

They parted was and Zell went to the rest of his classes, on time. After his last class he decided he would find Selphie and tell her what happened with him and Quistis.

"Oh man Selphie is going to kill me for being such a klutz."

Not realizing Selphie had already snuck up behind him, he jumped a mile in the air when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"What did you do now?" Selphie asked trying to contain her laughter at Zell painting heavily and grabbing his chest.

"Damn Selph, you almost gave me a heart attack!"

"Oh stop being such a big baby." Selphie giggled.

"I'm not being a baby!" Zell said as he stuck out his tongue at the giggling brunette.

"Well Zell how did Quistis like her flowers?" Selphie asked quite excitedly.

Zell lowered his head. "Well I um…was kinda just a second late and then tripped and fell right in front of her and she yelled at me."

"That's nice" Selphie said with a wave of her hand, dismissing the statement. "Now what about the roses?"

"Well she really seemed to like them. I even think she started to blush."

The tiny brunette started bouncing up and down. "Oh goody Zell, now you didn't sign your name on the note did you?"

"Nope, I put from your secrete admirer." Zell beamed; happy he followed directions for once.

"Good, but what did you write?" Selphie asked, biting her bottom lip showing she was a little worried about leaving the note all up to Zell.

Zell started to blush and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Oh nothing really, just that someone was thinking of her and wanted to show her how special she was."

Selphie cocked an eyebrow at Zell. "Are you sure that is all you put?"

Zell looked shocked and was a bit taken back. "Miss Tilmitt, are you insinuating that I am incapable of writing a well written note?"

"Yup." Selphie said and burst into another giggling fit.

Zell just let out a sigh. "Geez thanks Selph."

"No prob." Selphie beamed and gave Zell a big bear hug. "Well Zell it's almost time for Quistis to get done with her last class, you know what to do right?"

Zell pondered the question for a moment and then it hit him. "Oh yeah of course I remember. I mean come on, I'm like an elephant, I never forget." Zell beamed, while puffing out his chest and placing his fists on his hips.

Selphie just shook her head. "Well you better get going, Mr. elephant." Selphie giggled.

After about thirty minutes of getting everything ready he just went to his dorm and waited for the news.

It was nearing ten o'clock and Quistis was obliviously tired of grading papers, so she put them in her desk drawer and locked it up for the night. She rubbed the bridge of her nose and decided it was time to head home.

She locked the door to her classroom and proceeded to the elevator. Upon entering the elevator she pressed FL1. "God I always did hate this elevator music." She mused to herself before the delightful ping told her she was at her destination.

As she started walking down to her room she notice the hall was lined with strange little pick things. "What the? Rose peddles, why are they on the ground?"

As she kept walking she realized they were leading to her door. Skeptical she quickly opened her door and flipped on the lights.

Her hand quickly shot to her mouth. As she gasped at the sight, red quickly ran to her cheeks. "Ohhh….how sweet." She cooed upon seeing hundreds of beautiful pink and red rose peddles and lined her room.

As she ventured further in she saw that the peddles on her bed read a message and small white piece of paper laid with them. Quistis looked at the peddles on her bed and saw they read; I and then a picture of a heart and then a simple U.

Tears started to creep into Quistis' eyes at such a beautiful sight. She picked up the piece of paper and began to read aloud:

Quistis, many consider roses to be a symbol of beauty and perfection, but when compared to you they couldn't mean a thing. I hope you enjoyed the flowers this morning and I wish you'd be so kind as to escort me to the Garden Festival tomorrow evening if you don't already have plans.

Sincerely,

Zell.

A single tear flows from the sapphire pools embedded in her delicate head. A frown cast itself upon her features as she crumples up the note and throws it in her trash.

"Zell…."

Authors Note: Well I hope you liked this chapter, I know it's a lil' long and I'm sorry for that. Well R&R.


	3. Light and Darkness

**My Final Heaven**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything pertaining to the actions or characters of Final Fantasy VIII, I just own the plot.

**Ch.3 _Light and Darkness_**

Zell went straight back into his room after "asking" Quistis to the festival. He checked his clock and it was nearing 10:30. He was way too amped to sleep.

He slowly opened his door, so not to make a sound. He didn't want to attract any of the Garden Faculty and get in trouble for sneaking out after curfew.

He began his nightly stroll around the garden; it was so strange to see the usual hectic Garden so tranquil. He made his way to the exit/entrance of the Garden.

"Ha, this damn gate, you won't get me in trouble this time." He pulled out his card key and grined maniacally.

"You see this Mr. Gate, oh yeah that's right, you aint lockin' me out!"

His travels lead him through the Alcauld Plains and down to the sandy beaches of Balamb. He loved the serenity of the night; it was as though in the darkness of night he could truly be himself.

In the shroud of darkness he was able to drop whatever façade he was putting on for his friends and just be himself, whether it was being happy, angry, or even sad and depressed. It was this time that Zell could just be Zell.

He gazed up at the moon for a long period of time. He figured the moon too loved the night; it was the only time when the moon could be its true self and really shine. The moon was truly breathtaking.

Zell sat there pondering questions to which he had no answers. A scowl covered Zell's face as he realized the moon was just cast in the shadow of the sun. Everyone adores and loves the sun, but quickly forgets about the moon.

Zell frowned. "Just like…..Squall and I…..He is like the burning sun and I am like the consoling moon: light and darkness. If there is light there is no darkness, if there is darkness there is no light. The light fears the darkness and the darkness is jealous of the light, we are after all incompatible. But Squall and I are "supposed" to be best-friends, although we never hang out."

Zell clenches his fist and his gaze remains fixated on the soft pale orb suspended in the endless heavens. "So _Shadow of the Sun_, I too know what it's like to be cast aside and second to another."

Zell's thoughts quickly revert back to Squall.

"Why does everyone like him so much? He doesn't even try to get them to like him, and yet I kill myself inside to get them to notice me, let alone like me. I just wish they would like me half as much as they like Squall."

Zell's eyes slowly fall towards the sand beneath his feet.

"Whenever Squall comes around everyone just forgets about me, like I'm not even there."

Zell's depression sinks to new depths, and tears begin to solemnly sting his eyes.

"Quistis…."

Zell felt a cold shiver run down his spine.

He lets out a rather large sigh.

"Time to go in." Zell whispered to himself.

Zell solemnly trudge his way back to Garden. Upon entering his room he didn't even bother to take off his clothes, he just collapsed on his bed. All this thinking drained every bit of him.

He gazed at the moon one last time through his dust covered window before rolling over and letting the comforting arms of the darkness carry him off to sleep.


	4. An Eventful Morning

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or actions pertaining to Final Fantasy VIII. I just own the plot. Hope you like it, enjoy. **Please review and tell me what ya think**

Ch.4: **_An Eventful Morning_**

Crust filled eyes awake to a sun-splashed room.

Zell groans as he rolls over determining whether or not to get up.

"Ugh…I still got a couple more hours of sleep." Zell says with a yawn.

A loud knock appears at his door.

"What the? It had best be damn important for gettin' me out of bed." Zell grumbles, furious that he has to leave the warmth sanctity of his bed.

Zell stands up completely groggy and tries stumbling in the right direction of his door. Upon reaching the door Zell rips it open.

"What!" Zell says rather aggravated.

"Hiya Zell" replies the bubbly brunette in the hall.

Zell's anger subsides, a little as his eyes once again close due to sleepiness. "Hey Selph." Zell yawns. "What are you doin' here so early in the mornin'?"

She didn't answer for a while and Zell opens his eyes long enough to see she has burst into another giggling fit.

"What?" Asks the young blonde, perplexed as to why she would be laughing.

Unable to answer because she is laughing to hard she points to Zell's cute chicobo decorated silk boxers.

Zell looks down his face painted red. "Ugh excuse me!" He yells slamming the door and hurriedly getting any kind of clothing over his body. While getting dressed he could still here the small giggles from Selphie, who's probably hunched over holding her stomach.

"I don't see what the big deal is, Ma got them for me."

All "dressed" Zell once again opens the door.

"Well have you regained yourself or what?" Zell asks rather annoyed.

Her eyes bug out and she explodes into another fit of laughter.

"What now!" The small blonde asks completely frustrated with his excitable friend.

All Selphie could do was just point. Zell looks down and sees he has on a bright yellow nylon tee with plaid covered pants.

Zell began rubbing the back of his head as he started to blush. "Well hey it's all I could do on such sort notice. Gimme a break huh?"

Selphie just stood in the doorway hunched over because her stomach hurt from laughing so hard. After a few minutes she was able to regain her composure.

"Sooooo…..Has Quistis talked to you yet?" Selphie asked, her face only inches apart from Zell's, while her hands were clasped behind her back.

Zell pushed Selphie back a bit. "Damn Selph, give me some room to breath. And uhh..." Zell paused for a moment picking at the ground with his goot. "No she hasn't talked to me yet."

Selphie's expression was total shock. "What why not?"

Her yelling startled Zell. "Shhh…"

"Well why not" Selphie asked only a LITTLE quieter.

Zell sighs. "Well because it is ONLY SIX IN THE MORNING!"

Selphie jumps back. "Oh yeah, it is. Hehehe… Sorry Zelly."

Zell just shakes his head. "Well I'm going back to bed."

Zell started walking over to his bed, but before he got there Selphie had already sprinted past him and flew onto his bed.

"Selphie! Stop bouncing, you're messin' up my sheets!" Zell stated and put his hands on his hips.

Selphie just looked at Zell and smiled, while continuing to bounce. "Come on Zelly its fun." She stated and patted a spot on the bed next to her, signaling Zell to come up.

Zell just cocked his eyebrow at the spunky little brunette. "How in the world do you have so much energy this early in the morning?" He said with a yawn.

Selphie just giggled and remained bouncing.

Zell turned around and started to walk out of the room.

"ZELL? Where are you going."

With no answer Selphie stopped bouncing and got up off the bed.

"Geez he didn't have to leave." She whispered and started making his bed, sad that her friends abondoned her.

Just when she was done making the bed she turned around to the loud clanking of someone running towards her.

"Ahhhh!" She yelled as Zell tackled her back onto the bed and started bouncing up and down.

"Oh Zelly you big jerk, I just made that!" She yelled and pointed an accusing finger.

"Hey you're the one who wanted me to do this. And it really is fun." He let out his trademark grin.

Before he knew it Selphie tackled him down onto the bed and rolled him off.

"Ha, I'm Queen of the Bed!" She proclaimed in a boisterous tone.

"You cheated!" Zell pouted.

"Oh Zelly I'm sorry." Selphie apologized sincerely, as she motioned Zell up on the bed for a hug.

Zell slipped his arms around the slender girl and leaned close to her ear.

"Sefie." Zell whispered.

"Yeah Zell?"

"I'm the only ruler of this bed!" Zell beamed as he lifted up Selphie by the waist and gently set her on the ground.

Selphie just smiled and giggled.

"So Zell, ya wanna go see Quisty?"

Zell's happy demeanor quickly changed to that of anxiety. He flopped down on his bed and began playing with the bed sheets.

"Umm….I don't know, I'm kinda nervous." Zell explained.

"Oh Zell what's there to be nervous about, we're all friends here." Selphie said reassuringly.

"Yeah but…." Zell started.

"No buts mister, unless it yours getting kicked!" Selphie said with finality. "Now you hurry up and get ready, I'm going to grab a bite to eat at the cafe, and I'll be back in twenty."

Zell nodded in agreement and sighed. "Alright I'll start getting ready."

"Okays, bye." Selphie waved and bounded out of the room.

Suddenly Zell smacked his forehead with his hand. He sprinted to the door and looked out into the hall for Selphie, but she was long gone.

"Damn! I should have had her pick me up some hotdogs!" Zell cursed himself, as he stepped into his bathroom and turned on the faucet.

Zell quickly undressed and put his hand in the shower. "Whoa….Now that's cold." Zell let out a sigh as he stood with his arms folded in front of his chest signaling he was getting impatient.

"Hyne, what takes my water so long to get warm, I mean come on! Selphie is going to kill me if I'm not ready when she gets back."

After a few moments Zell hops in, and hurriedly cleanses himself. After washing his hair he figured he still had a few moments to enjoy the torrent of water cascading down his body.

Enjoying these few moments of piece Zell quickly realizes he is going to go see Quistis in a few minutes.

Zell's eyes become large and a panicked look covers his face.

"Damn, what am I going to do, let alone say to her?" Zell closes his eyes and lets out a long sigh.

"Come on Zell you got this, yeah you got this, no prob!" Zell's little pep talk gets his adrenaline going and he begins shadow boxing in the shower.

"Ahhh…." While shadow boxing Zell quickly loses his footing on the wet shower floor and falls ass first on the ground, hard.

Zell begins hastily rubbing his back side. "Oh man, my poor butt. Oh Hyne, why do I always have to be a klutz?"

As soon as Zell stands back up he hears the door slam.

Zell's eyes widen and he turns a pure white. "Oh no….."

"Zell, get your ass out of that shower otherwise I'm commin' in and KICKING you out!" Zell swore Selphie sounded like an enraged T-Rex ready to rip his head off.

"Sorry Selph, I'll be right out!" Came Zell's rapid response, so Selphie wouldn't barge in there and see him naked, but most importantly go in there and rip his head off.

"You have one minute!" Selphie yelled and began her countdown.

As fast as Zell could, he got out of the shower, dried off, put on deodorant, did his hair and got dressed.

"Five……Four…." Selphie was nearing the end of her countdown. This made Zell very worried and he rushed even more.

Just when Selphie got to one, Zell slipped on the wet ground while literally running out of the bathroom and cracked his head on the tile floor.

Only the fear of an enraged Selphie kept Zell going, he quickly recovered and practically ripped the bathroom door off its hinges trying to get out. As the door whooshed open Selphie was standing there and Zell collapsed at her feet.

Selphie looked down and smiled. "Good you're ready, now get up and lets get going you big baby."

Zell looked like he had just got done fighting the Omega Weapon by himself. "Geez Selph, don't help me up or anything."

"Okay." Selphie cheerfully replied and began walking out of the room, while waving her hand signaling Zell to come on.

"What did I do to deserve a morning like this?" Zell looked up to the heavens and shook his head before crawling out of his room.

**Author's Note:** Well theres the next Chapter, I hope you all like it. I made this one for some comic relief, but the next few are going to get really interesting! Also I just want to say thanks to azndreamer45 for giving me my first review! I really appreciate it, and keep them commin'. Well this chapter up date is for you enjoy:)


	5. A Pain Suffered Daily

isclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or actions pertaining to Final Fantasy VIII. I just own the plot. Hope you like it, enjoy. **Please review and tell me what ya think**

**Ch.5: _A Pain Suffered Daily_**

After being able to stand back up, Zell quietly trudged after Selphie.

Selphie turns around and faces Zell. He didn't notice she stopped and almost ran right into her.

"Ahh, Selph why'd you stop all of a sudden?"

Zell began rubbing his nose.

"I almost broke my nose!" Zell yelled, clearly over exaggerating.

Selphie looked at him with piercing eyes, searching for something.

"Zell what's wrong? You haven't said a word in like one whole minute, and that's like some world record! For you anyways."

She put her hand over her mouth as she started to giggle.

Zell's gaze remained fixated on the ground. "Ohh…nothing Selph, nothing at all." Zell's tone was telling Selphie all she needed to know.

"You know Zell, I've known you for a long time now, and you're such a bad liar." She said giving him a wink.

"Really it's that obvious? Well I guess I'll have to try harder, how's this one. Hey Selph you really look nice today." Zell exclaimed with his trademark toothy grin.

A fired erupted in Selphie's eyes as she stared at the young "dumb" blonde in disbelief. Who would ever even think about purposely making Selphie upset! The thought is just ridiculous.

"Zell Dincht! YOU'RE DEAD!" Selphie yelled as she started chasing after the long gone Zell.

After a few minutes of nonstop sprinting Zell was completely fatigued. He was hunched over with one hand on his leg and the other on the wall trying to catch his breath.

"Wow, I didn't think it was possible for a girl her size to run that fast and in a dress and boots for that matter."

"Hehehehe…..Perfect." Came the whisper of a stealthy brunette who saw her prey hunched over with his butt right in the air, just begging to be kicked, and kicked hard!

"AAAAHHHHHHHH! OUCHY….OUCHY…..OUCHY!" Came the extremely loud yell from the small blonde that must have woken everyone up in the entire Garden.

Selphie could have sworn her boot got stuck in Zell's butt for a second when she kicked him. After the kick, Zell's butt wasn't the only thing hurting, he flew head first into the wall.

Zell was rolling on the ground, and Selphie was in hysterics, rolling along side of him. Both of them were crying quite hard; Zell from pain, and Selphie from the shear hilarity of it all.

Neither of them knew they had attracted quite a crowd until a familiar instructor's voice told them to scatter.

Zell knew that voice, and just as quickly as he heard it all the pain in his body stopped and his heart was beating so fast he thought he was going to have a heart attack right there.

Quistis walked over and saw Zell lying on the ground with his hands furiously rubbing his backside. Quistis narrowed her eyes as fire erupted within them.

'_Dammit, why is he here, and only a few rooms down from my door? That damn note had better of been some kind of joke, Why did I even bother to see what the commotion was, I should have stayed in my room, good job Quistis!' _Quistis' thoughts were furious, as she began inwardly cursing herself.

Just as soon as she was about to let Zell have it for being disruptive in the halls, which was just some kind of excuse so she could yell at Zell, her eyes caught a glimpse of someone lying next to him.

'_Damn it's Selphie, what is she doing here!'_

Zell's mouth became dry and the lack of oxygen to his lungs from forgetting to breath has caused him to turn a lovely shade of blue. It would have made even Shiva jealous.

"Zell are you ok?" Selphie was turning to her friend. "You look like a big goofy blueberry." Selphie stated and couldn't help but giggle.

Zell gasped and took in a huge breath of air before he passed out.

Quistis just stared at Zell, her eyes cold as ice. '_Damn him, why can't he just leave me alone?" _Quistis cursed in her head.

Selphie stood up and grabbed the squirming Zell, and put him back on his feet. The she proceeded in giving him a hard shove of encouragement towards Quistis, but clumsy Zell collided right into her.

"Oh Hyne Quistis, I am so sorry!" Zell pleaded as his face was as red as Ifrit's fireball.

Quistis just stared down on Zell since she is slightly taller than the young blonde. Her glare was that of pure hatred and Zell could see it.

"Well Zell isn't there something you would like to ask Quisty?" She exclaimed bouncing up and down from excitement.

Zell knew what the answer would be, and he definitely didn't want to hear it. Plus he knew Quistis would just be even madder for him thinking he could ever possibly have a chance of Quistis going out on a date with him.

"Quisty, Zell wants to know if you'll go to the Garden Festival with him." Selphie involuntarily blurted out as her anxiousness got the best of her.

Zell's stomach dropped and his eyes fell to the floor. He felt if he looked Quistis in the eye now it would make her even more enraged like a Ruby Dragon. Everyone knows not to look one in the eyes if you want to leave with all of your limbs intact.

Quistis looked to the ground on her side, fire burning in her eyes. '_Dammit Selphie, just mind your own business! I wish I could just tell Zell off, but then Selphie would be all upset and ugh….everything would get complicated..'_

Quistis lets out and exaggerated sigh and looks back at Zell. Her eyes grew a little softer, as she tried to suppress her anger.

"Zell…?" Quistis asks softly.

Despite his brain telling him not to look up, his gut instincts, as usually, force him to do the opposite and he meets Quistis' gaze.

"Zell I ugh…um…." Quistis begins stuttering, not knowing what to say since Selphie is practically breathing down her neck.

"Zell I…I…can't..ummmm….because…..I promised my students I would get their term papers graded by tomorrow. Yeah…and you know me when I make I promise I intend to keep it."

A fist of solid ice plunged into the depths of Zell's soul. His eyes were clearly shining with hurt, but Zell quickly blinked it away and put on his overly cheerful façade.

"Oh, yeah I know you Quisty….err Quistis; you're all work and no play." Zell managed a false grin, as did Quistis.

'_Zell you don't know me at all.' _Quistis echoed inside her head.

Meanwhile Selphie was just standing there, jaw practically on the floor, not understanding what is going on here. Didn't Quistis get the magnificent bouquet of beautiful roses, and didn't she always get a rose peddle "carpet"? How could she possibly be saying no? Actually how could she even THINK about saying no?

Selphie's face erupted into bright magenta. "WHAT!" Selphie involuntarily yelled.

The two blondes quickly jerk their heads to see Selphie practically hyperventilating.

Zell was the first to break the silence. "Selphie, calm down, it's ok; Quistis is busy, nothing wrong with that. Plus it's my fault for asking her so late anyways."

Selphie was dumbfounded; being able to form words with her mouth and actually make them sound right was an anomaly for her. She didn't even know the meaning of any words let alone say them. So she just stood there with her mouth open wide enough to even be bigger than Zell's.

Without Selphie noticing, Quistis shot Zell a glare of death and turned around.

"Well got to go, bye." Quistis said with a wave of her hand and walked away, not even turning around once.

Quistis' icy glare turned Zell to stone. He didn't know what to think anymore. Does she really hate him this much to make up any kind of an excuse to stay away from him? I mean she didn't even say she was sorry she couldn't go, not even once.

Zell just stood there, completely paralyzed, unable to feel anything; no emotion, no physical pain, nothing.

It felt like an eternity went by before Selphie could regain her composure. Finally she walked over to Zell and looked deep within his eyes. She saw those once blazing sapphire eyes dulled, and tainted by pain. It was as though the Zell she knew was gone, lost in a dark oblivion.

"Zell…." Selphie whispered, not knowing what to say.

Zell didn't even respond, he couldn't even respond, he just stood there lost.

A soft hand touched his shoulder snapping him out of his reverie.

"Come on Zell, I'll buy you some hotdogs, as many as you want." Selphie said trying to act cheerful, but failing miserably.

"I'm not hungry….." Zell's response was cold, devoid of all emotion.

Did Selphie just here him right? Zell, Zell Dintch say he wasn't hungry, FOR HOTDOGS? She couldn't believe it; he must really have feelings for Quistis, to say no to hotdogs.

"Come one Zell…" Selphie slowly grabbed his hand and lead the lost and lonely Zell back to his dorm.

The whole way back was covered in an eerie stillness. Neither one making a peep; even their footsteps were masked by silence.

Selphie couldn't help but see the shear anguish in Zell's eyes. He was obviously torn up by this, but why? She had never known Zell to have any strong feels for Quistis, or anyone for that matter. Well maybe the library girl at one point, but that was long over, now they are just friends.

Just friends Selphie thought, that is all Zell is to anyone, just a friend.

And at times it's as though Zell doesn't really have any close friends, well besides her, but him and Squall are supposed to be best friends, but they don't even hang out. The only see each other when they are on missions, or passing each other by.

Selphie's eyes began to water. '_It's sad really, I guess I have never noticed it before now, but Zell has always been alone. Even when we are all together, nobody really pays any attention to him. Even I've been guilty of that. Poor, poor Zell, how is he able to live that way? With nobody to hold, nobody who loves him or cares for him? It is like he isn't even alive...'_

Selphie's heart began to ache as she began to understand the pain Zell suffers daily. The pain of…..loneliness.

**Author's Note:** Well there's the next chapter, I really hope you like it. I also want to say a special thank you to Tamarani for giving me a cool review! Well This chapter's for you T. I hope ya like it. And please keep the reviews comming:)

PS. Next chapter will hopefully be up really soon, or at least within the next 24 hours. And it's only getting better...I hope...


	6. Broken Dreams

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the characters or actions pertaining to Final Fantasy VIII. I just own the plot. Hope you like it, enjoy******Please review and tell me what ya think**

**Ch. 6: _Broken Dreams_**

After walking Zell to his door, Selphie didn't know if she should leave Zell alone or not. She knows Zell is an extremely emotional guy, and very reckless at times, who knows what he will do at a time like this.

"Well Zell….here we are. Do you want me to come in with you?" Selphie's words seemed to linger within the silence between them.

Finally Zell spoke.

"No Selph, I need to be alone for awhile." Zell's tone was very solemn.

'_Alone, but Zell you are always alone….' _Selphie's words echoed throughout her mind.

Will that said, Zell turned around and began unlocking his door. All of a sudden he felt something warm and comforting wrap around his body.

Selphie has embraced Zell with a loving hug from behind. Zell completely caught off guard, didn't know what to do, he didn't even know this feeling. The feeling of someone else besides his dear Ma actually caring for him, someone else who actually…..loved him.

Selphie could feel a single drop of warm liquid dance upon the skin of her arm before Zell broke her grasp and disappeared into his room.

"Zell….." Selphie couldn't tell if she called out his name or not. The word seemed to form in her mouth, but she didn't know if sound came out or if she just mouthed his name.

Zell collapsed to his knees in front of the closed door and stared into the abyss. How long he was there he didn't know.

"Why." Zell asked to the listening walls in his room.

A question, which was racing through his mind when Quistis first began yelling at him.

"Why do I care this much? It's not like I'm…..in….." Zell's thoughts trailed off as a serious of furious knocks crashed into his door.

Zell shook his head and got up and opened the door.

As the wooden barrier opened, she was staring into puffy, bloodshot eyes. Selphie couldn't help but pull Zell into her loving embrace and hold them there, never wanting to let go.

This wasn't a sign that Selphie was madly in love with Zell, yes she loved him almost as much as Irvine, but she wasn't in love with him, and Zell knew this, he could tell from the tenderness of her hold on him.

She was there for him in his time on need. She loved the feeling of being there for her friend, it was as though she was the only one who could help him and brighten up his world. She was his shining star.

Although it seemed like less than a second, Selphie released her hug on Zell, because she knew she had been holding him for almost three minutes now. She stared into his deep sapphire pools and almost burst into tears right there.

"Zell.." Selphie started, but realized her tone wasn't cheerful enough, so she tried harder.

"Zell I got great news!" Selphie exclaimed jumping up and down.

Zell didn't even respond, he didn't show any emotion, he just stood there.

"Zell will you go with me to the Garden Festival?" Selphie asked will more enthusiasm than you could shake a stick at.

Zell's eyes widen at the sound of Garden Festival. Because of those two words, Quistis hated Zell even more than before. But could Zell really say no to the only true friend he has, and one that recently has been helping him out so much?

Just as Zell was about to speak he was struck with an epiphany as a small scowl slithered its way into the corner of his lips.

"Oh….you mean with you and Irvine?" Zell asked dejectedly.

"No silly. Did I say his name, I don't think so. He just got a call to go on a mission with Squall and Rinoa to Deiling City. They have to meet up with Rinoa's father, so he can brief them on their mission."

"What's the mission?" Zell asked rather curious, and also wondering why Squall didn't ask him to go, instead of Irvine.

'_Oh yeah, because Squall really doesn't like me either._' Zell thought.

"There has been some recent increased monster activity in Deiling, they have to go there, check it out, and eliminate all potential threat."

"Oh." Zell said plainly, though sounding hurt.

"Well Zelly, I know I can be really annoying, and I know I'm not the best lookin' gal in Balamb, but do you think you could find it in your heart to take lil' old me to the Garden Festival?"

Zell stood there not knowing what to say.

"Pretty please Zelly, without you, I won't have anyone to go with." Selphie looked at Zell and stuck out her bottom lip while giving him "puppy dog" eyes.

Zell couldn't help but smile. "Of course Sefie, it'd by my pleasure to take the most beautiful girl in Balamb to the Garden Festival." Zell stated proudly.

Selphie didn't hesitate; she pounced on him and gave him and crushing bear hug. Zell tried to struggle but he didn't realize how strong this little petit girl could be.

"Se…Selphie…I can't…..Breathe…." Zell stuttered out between gasps for breath.

Selphie quickly let go and smiled a wide grin.

"Sorry Zelly, I don't know my own strength sometimes." She giggled. "So Zell, you better dress nice and meet me at my room around six. That should give you enough time to clean yourself up and look handsome for me."

"But Sel, what should I wear?" Zell yelled, but Selphie was already out of his sight and down the hall.

Zell lets out a huge sigh. He turns to look at the clock and realizes he doesn't have one….anymore.

"Damn."

Zell's stomach let out a horrific growl that could scare a Behemoth away. Zell rubs his stomach.

"Well looks like it's time to eat."

Forgetting about his troubles for the moment Zell heads down the hallway ready to eat. Upon entering the cafeteria, Zell could smell the sweet aroma of hotdogs. His mouth began to water.

After a few minutes, Zell was finally at the head of the line.

"Ten….no fifteen hotdogs please." Zell asked politely with his trademark grin.

"Oh sorry dear, we're all out." The sweet lunch lady replied.

Zell's stomach dropped, and tears actually began to water up his eyes.

"No…no hotdogs! Huuuhhhh…..fine just give me four peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

The lunch lady smiled and complied. After getting his sandwiches Zell started to walk towards his usual table, but visions of Quistis sitting across from him swam before his eyes making him stop dead in his tracks.

'_Why does she hate me?' _Zell questioned himself. But the thought made him loose his appetite.

Zell walked to a different table and though he wasn't hungry he forced down his sandwiches as fast as he could so he could get out of there. It seemed Quistis was at every table he looked at, and for a second he thought he was going crazy.

After scarfing down his food, he went back to his dorm. Zell looked around his room at all the piles of clothes and videogames strung everywhere.

"Should I clean it now or later?" Zell pondered this question for a moment.

"Later." With his mind decided he figured he would try and rest and hopefully forget about his troubles.

As he lay in bed tossing and turning, Zell stared at his ceiling, the cracks seem to be mocking him at his attempt to sleep. Finally after an hour of restlessness Zell was able to allow the dark serenity of sleep carry him away.

Zell's body became rigid as he was tossing and turning even more than before. Sweat began to congregate across his entire body.

A vision of Zell happily surrounded by all his friends outside of Garden, getting ready to finally watch one of "Zell's" sunrises, cascades through his mind. Abruptly just as the sun was about to awaken, the skies turn an ominous blood red.

Zell looks to his left and then his right, but nobodies there. He is alone, shrouded by an empty void of darkness. Zell begins to yell for his friends, but no answer. He starts running as fast as he can, but he isn't going anywhere, no matter how fast he runs, it's as though he is standing still.

Zell collapses to the ground, 'I'm all _alone…. I'm always alone…..' _

"_Zell" _a voice cackles through the darkness.

"Who's there?"

"_How could you put everyone's life in danger like that? Your rash actions almost got everyone you care about killed!"_ This strange voice hissed.

Zell knew exactly what this voice was talking about.

"But it wasn't my fault." Zell pleaded with the intangible being.

"_Oh please Zell. Excuses, excuses, excuses, when are you going to grow up and take responsibility for your won actions?" _

Zell was speechless, he just stood there lost.

"_I suppose your going to tell me Tribia wasn't your fault either? You know everyone still hates you for that, especially Selphie. Because you were too STUPID to think before you spoke, you killed every single one of her friends._

"What, no! That's not true; Edea was going to send the missiles anyways!" Zell pleaded, tears now stinging his eyes, fighting to break their barricades.

"_Poor Zell, living in denial, do you think you could ever forgive someone for killing everyone you ever cared about? I mean come on; you haven't forgiven Seifer have you?"_

Zell was speechless; those words have somehow stolen the breath from his lungs. He couldn't disagree with this voice, because the voice was right. He hasn't forgiven Seifer, and he never thought he would. Every time he sees Seifer at Garden his blood boils and he wants to kill Seifer right there.

"_Everyone hates you Zell, they always have and always will. Don't worry though, you are meant to be…..alone." _The strange voiced whispered in a way that made Zell pure white.

"I'm to be forever…..alone…." Zell echoed the words that lingered throughout the air.

"_Let me end it for you Zell. After this all your pain will finally go away, and everyone will for the first time in your life be happy with you."_

Just then a sharp pain explodes throughout his body. His eyes fall towards the ground but are impeded by a sight of a knife thrusted through his stomach. He can see his life slowly drain onto the unforgiving ground. Zell turned around to see cold blue eyes staring at him. Those eyes he has seen them before.

There less than a foot away from him, a silhouette of a slender figure with blazing blue eyes.

"Quistis!" Zell shoots up in his bed, sweat sheltered his entire body. His breathing was shallow and his heartbeat was racing.

Zell puts his hand on his face and shakes his head.

"What the hell was that? What could it possibly mean? I'm…..alone"

Zell swore he could still hear that maniacal laughter echoing throughout the hollow walls in his room.

"……Quistis…..?"

**Author's Note:** Oh Yeah! Well i just put the last chapter up at 11:30 pm. and I decided to through caution to the wind and because of Tamarani and azndreamer45's reviews I figured I would write another chapter. Well I hope you's still like my story and keep sending me reviews, it means a lot and thanks. Laterz...


	7. All in the Name of Friendship

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the characters or actions pertaining to Final Fantasy VIII. I just own the plot. Hope you like it, enjoy. **Please review and tell me what ya think!**

Ch.7 _**All in the Name of Friendship**_

Zell rips his bedsheets off him and stands up. He stretches his tired muscles floridly as he lets out an exaggerated yawn.

He wipes his crust filled eyes and looks over at his alarm clock.

"Damn!" He curses himself for forgetting he already "got rid" of it earlier.

"I should definitely invest in a watch or somethin'." He muses to himself.

He begins strolling towards the cafeteria, but he notices that the halls are quiet empty. He disregards this thought and just figures everyone must be taking some kind of field exam.

Upon entering the cafeteria he notices it is a barren wasteland, now he is a little freaked out. Not once in his entire life has Zell come to the cafeteria and nobody been here, usually it was packed. But Zell continues on his way.

Since he was the only one there he went straight to ordering his food with no wait.

"Hmm…..Maybe it's my lucky day or suttin'." Zell ponders to himself, just happy that he doesn't have to wait ten minutes for a hotdog that they are probably out of anyways.

"Ehhh…I'll start light today, five hotdogs please." Zell asks politely, but he soon notices the clock on the wall to the left of him is reading quarter of five.

'_Damn I came too late, of course they're going to be out of hotdogs at this time of day.' _Zell cursed himself for not noticing the time before, and had a sad frown plastered on his face.

"Are you sure that's all you want dear. Today we seem to have more hotdogs than ever; nobody has come to buy any. You're the first one of the day." The lunch lady asked making Zell jump back completely stupefied, not only at the fact that they still have hotdogs, but that he was the first one to ask for some, and it's almost five!

"What? No way? You're tellin' me I'm the first one? BOOYAH!" Zell yell's in utter excitement, unable to contain his glee, and throws his fist in the air.

"Well in that case, I'll take fifteen of those babies." Zell demanded with his trademark grin.

After the lunch lady complied, Zell sat down at his usual table and began chowing down. But as he was eating, he started wondering where everyone was and why nobody has ordered any hotdogs.

What could he be forgetting?

It took only ten minutes for the inhuman garbage disposal Zell to inhale all fifteen hotdogs. It was now nearing ten after five and that's when it hit him.

"Oh shit." He involuntarily said out loud.

His hand flew up to his face and whacked him so hard; he thought he was going to knock himself out. How could he be so stupid, everyone is getting ready to the GARDEN FESTIVAL!

"Selphie is going to kill me if I'm late and if I don't have anything nice to wear!" Zell darted off like a bullet, running towards his dorm. At least this time he didn't have to worry about running into anyone, or so he thought.

As usual while running Zell wasn't looking where he was going.

"Shell" A voice demanded.

That was all Zell heard before he hit someone or something and it felt like he hit a brick wall. Zell flew back and landed hard on the ground, but knowing he can't be late he quickly stood up, rubbed his backside profusely and as soon as he said he was sorry he finally looked up to see, none other than the person from his dream.

Zell's eyes widen and his heart stops. His throat becomes dry and his body began to quiver. He was now staring into the ice blue eyes of a long honey haired female instructor who although is only an inch or so taller seemed to tower over him at this point in time.

"Zell Dincht, what did I tell you about running in the halls!" The aggravated instructor questioned the smaller blonde.

Her voice ripped through his body and made him break out into a cold sweat. He was unable to speak; the sight of her seemed to have stolen his voice, not to mention the precious air from his lungs.

How long she stood there staring him down, he didn't know, his gazed was fixated on the ground in front of him.

"Zell I'm talking to you!" She roared even angrier that he hasn't answered her yet.

"Sss….ss…..sorry….I didn't mean too…." Zell finally replied, unable to control his stuttering.

"God Zell, your such a worthless ch……ehh never mind, your not even worth my time!" Her words were dripping with disdain.

Zell's heart ached, as he knew what she was going to say.

She didn't wait for him to respond; she had already made her way by him and strolled out of his line of vision.

'_I'm a……. worthless child……"_Zell's mind echoed the thoughts of Quistis.

Zell seemed to have forgotten all about the festival and went into his room and locked the door.

'_She's right, I am a child, but more importantly I'm….worthless." _Zell flopped down on his bed. _"I'm….worthless….." _Zell's thoughts echoed in his mind, seemingly just to torture the poor young blonde.

As he lay on his bed he stares up at his ceiling; even the cracks seemed to be mocking him, laughing at him.

He sat up and opened the drawer on his nightstand and pulled out the survival knife he received upon making SeeD. Its handle was sterling silver with his name engraved in gold leaf in script lettering. It was truly beautiful knife.

Zell gripped the blade and though he isn't one for using weapons, it felt so comfortable in his hands, like an old friend, or _enemy. _Zell didn't understand the connection between him and this blade, and for some reason he didn't want too.

Though Zell didn't have a clock anymore he figured it must be 5:30 or so. He had totally forgotten about the festival. Visions of Tribia, and his most recent mission swam before his eyes making him want to vomit.

'_All those innocent people...are deah because of...me...'_

Zell couldn't breath as he sat there lost, staring into oblivion._  
_

_'Quistis….you say I'm worthless……you're right! I cause nothing but trouble for my family and friends…'  
_

Zell thought about what he had just said, then a cold frown scrapped its way onto his face._  
_

_'Friends, yeah I guess you could call them that…..I mean I know they aren't my friends, but I'm their friend, so I guess you could consider us "friends." Well my friends, I will finally make you all happy...I do this...for you...I...I...love you all...'_

Zell's eyes began to water as he reminisces of times gone passed. Visions of how Squall saved his life at the desert prison, or when Selphie and Quistis slapped him, hard, on the back to stop him from choking to death on hotdogs. Or the time when Rinoa and Irvine went back to the prison and helped save Zell and the others. Even memories of Seifer flashed before Zell.

'_They all had to save me, because I was too weak to even safe myself, let alone anyone else! Well this is for you guys, I would do anything for you, even…..sacrifice my own life!_

Zell sat up against his wall with his knees tightly drawn to his chest as a wave of tears crashed against his eyelids, bursting to get out.

Zell closed his eyes and he could feel a warm sensation cascade across his wrists. It was so warm and comforting he was finally happy with himself, for the first time in a long time, he was really happy.

Then all at once, a sharp pain erupts through his entire being. But soon that pain along with the excruciating pain of loneliness finally started to drift away. There was nothing left, besides a black void, welcoming him into oblivion.

**Author's Note:** Well guy's there you go. I know what you're thinking, and no it's not over yet! So don't worry, I will try and post the next chapter by tom., or sooner. I just wanted to say sorry this one took so long to post up, but for some reason I was having trouble with getting stuff posted, and I wasn't able to read all my reviews. But now everything is back up, and though I don't have many reviews the one's I do have, and hopefully will get mean A LOT to me. I really appreciate and them, and they are what keep me writing. So please feel free to write me as many reviews as you want! Thanks everyone!


	8. A Perfect Match

_**My Final Heaven **_

**Ch.8:** **_A Perfect Match_**

A sharp ringing noise pierces Zell's ears and snaps him out of his reverie. He looks down and still sees the blade in his hand, but no scars, no blood, nothing.

Zell let's out a disappointed sigh, and goes to answer his phone.

"Hello…" Zell says less than enthusiastic.

"Hiya Zelly! How's my date? Doing his best to look handsome for lil' old me?" Came Selphie's overly cheerful voice on the other end of the receiver.

"You know Zell; I really do appreciate you going with me tonight. I don't know what I'd do without you." Selphie's voice was loving and caring.

Zell couldn't help but smile. Someone actually cares so much about him, and even needs him.

"You know me Seph, I'd do anything for my numero uno gal!" Zell said actually sounding a little brighter.

"Well in that case, instead of you coming over here, I'll be there in about twenty minutes, is that ok with you Zelly?"

Zell didn't even hear her, he was to busy realizing Selphie was his shining light in a dark world.

"Zelly?" Selphie asked yet again.

"Oh sorry Selph, what did ya say?" Zell asked feeling a little bit embarrassed.

"I said I'll be at your room in about twenty minutes, ok?"

"Sure thing, see ya soon. Bye."

"Biya Zell." Came Selphie's cheerful goodbye.

Zell set the phone back in its slot and stared at the knife in his hand. He sighs realizing he didn't have the strength left to finish the job.

"Damn!" Zell curses aloud as his temper flares up like usually.

He whips around and hurls his knife into the far wall of his room, so base of the weapon is protruding straight out the wall.

A smile then curls its way onto Zell's lips as the thought of spending time with Selphie flash through his mind.

He suddenly looks down and sees his patented jean shorts and jacket aren't going to do. Starting to panic, Zell runs to his closet wondering what to wear to this thing. Zell doesn't get out to much, and most certainly doesn't go on many dates, so he is kind of at a loss for these sorts of things.

"Well I suppose I could go traditional." Zell states as he picks up his SeeD uniform.

Luckily he got it dry cleaned after getting hotdogs sauce on it at the last time he wore it, which was the part after Ultimicia's defeat. Though he knew this would do he still rummaged through his closet and realized this is the only nice thing he had, unless he wanted to wear the bright sparkly yellow silk shirt and tight black leather pants Selphie bought him a few months ago.

"Hell no!" He commands, shaking his head furiously. "Well it's decided. The SeeD uniform it is!"

He strips off his regular clothes and begins putting on his SeeD uniform. He hadn't realized how long it's been since he last wore it. It was quite snug around the midsection, but Zell just sucked in his gut and was able to button up his last button on his pants.

"Whew, no more hotdogs…….well maybe just a few less hotdogs, and I'll eat more salad." After a few moments of shifting and struggling, Zell managed to put on his striking uniform.

He walked to the mirror and came to the conclusion that he looked pretty darn good in it. He then wet his hair and quickly dried it. He reached over and grabbed his hair gel, emptying the rest of the bottle into his hand, he lubed up his hair just right. Well just right for Zell that is.

That's when Zell heard a knock at his door. He knew it was just Selphie, and although they have known each other for a long time and were just friends, he was still very nervous. His hands were so sweaty he decided to put on his gloves so Selphie wouldn't notice and be disgusted.

He hastily walked to his door and opened it. Zell's mouth literally dropped, he couldn't control it. His eyes grew wild with amazement; there she was, Selphie Tilmitt, wearing a gorgeous strapless, satin yellow dress that had silver sparkles that seemed to dance across her whole body.

Her usually spunky hairdo was no longer noticeable, instead she allowed her gorgeous silky auburn colored hair to cascade down her neck and rest open her shoulders. And she didn't even flip her ends out in Selphie fashion, she curled them in ever so gently that it outlined the delicate features of her face, making her look even more radiant than one could possibly imagine. Her eyes seemed to sparkle more than all the stars in the night sky, making any man who gazed into them become lost with love.

Selphie's shear beauty stole Zell's breath; he couldn't breathe, speak, or even think. All he could just do was just stare at the beautiful woman in front of him.

Zell gazed into Selphie's gleaming eyes and got lost in her astounding smile. He leaned in close to her ear while giving her a hug.

"Sel, you look…..absolutely beautiful tonight." Zell's hot breath tickled Selphie's ear and made her want to melt in Zell's arms.

"Oh Zell….." Her eyes began to water. "You look so handsome." She complimented Zell, in his SeeD uniform.

"Well shall we get going?" Zell asked holding out his arm.

Selphie nodded and slipped her slender arm around the muscular one of her date. As they walked out of Zell's room they looked like two pieces of the same puzzle, made to fit perfectly together.

**Author's Note**: Sorry so short! Well hope nobody was upset with the way I left the last chapter. I figured I would leave a little suspense, sorry. Well I hope you guys like this chapter, and though I'm not getting too many reviews, I still keep on updating as fast as I can because there is one person who likes this story and sends me reviews:) **THANKS AZND45!** (Hope ya don't mind me shortenin' up your name.) Please keep sending me reviews, and I really hope other people who erad this would send me reviews, Thanks everyone!


	9. A World Crashing Down

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or actions pertaining to Final Fantasy VIII. I just own the plot. Hope you like it, enjoy. Please review and tell me what ya think

_**My Final Heaven**_

**Ch.9:** _**A World Crashing Down**_

Zell and Selphie made their way down to the quad. They strolled like they were both walking on air. They were able to hear the music filter through to the hall as they neared festivities.

"Oh Zelly, I'm so excited" Selphie announced, bouncing up and down, even in her heels.

As they entered through the steel doors, light erupted from within blinding the two with tremendous force. They both instinctively put their hands up trying to douse the brilliant light.

A few moments passed before their eyes were able to fully recover. Zell and Selphie both gazed in awe at the beautiful sight before them. Everything was decorated just right, it was so amazing. The gorgeous hues of blue and red flowed together perfectly; the heavens themselves couldn't have looked more beautiful.

"Wow Sel, this place looks amazing. You really did a nice job." Zell blushed as he complimented his female companion.

A cute shade of pink quickly rushed to Selphie's cheeks. "Aww….thanks Zell."

Zell looked around for a bit and then looked back down at his date. "Well, since you helped set up this shindig what shall we do first?" Zell questioned.

Selphie gazed at the sight of young couples littering the dance floor and decided it was a little too crowded right now.

"Well it seems a little cramped on the dance floor right now, so why don't we come back to that latter." Selphie said with a bright smile.

"Ya know we don't have to dance." Zell chimed in.

Selphie just cocked her eyebrow and shook her head. "Yeah right, like I, Selphie Tilmitt, am not going to dance!" She let out an exaggerated laugh and tossed her head back.

A frown crossed Zell's face. "I thought you were going to say that."

Selphie grabbed Zell's arm and pulled him to the games section of the festival.

"Here Zelly, lets see if you can win me something nice!" Selphie challenged cheerfully.

"Hey how come I can't just win myself something?" Zell asked with a fake pout pressed on his lips.

"'Cuz silly, I don't even think you can win me something." Selphie giggled.

"Oh yeah, I'll show you! And when I win every single stuffed animal here, guess what….." Zell left a long pause before resuming.

"You ain't getting a single one!" Zell stated and stuck out his tongue, and began walking to his first game.

"Ahh the old throw a baseball into the bottles game. I've never lost at this game!" Zell stated proudly and puffed out his chest.

Selphie glanced up and saw the cutest thing she has ever seen. A twenty pound stuffed Carbunkle doll. Selphie's eyes lit up and she let out an enormous scream. She then tackled Zell to the ground, making him completely miss the bottles and hitting some poor unsuspecting guy in the back of the head.

"Ahhh…Damn, Selphie! What in Hyne is wrong with you?" Zell asked more shocked than angry.

"Oh Zell LOOK!" She pointed to her left.

Zell saw the massive stuffed animal and couldn't believe somebody would actually spend an entire year on making something that big. Well at least he figured it had to have been a year to make it, it was friggin huge!

"What in Hyne do you want that for!" Zell asked hysterically.

"Oh Zelly, please win it for me, I just got to have it." Selphie pleaded with Zell as her eyes got all big and sparkly and she clasped her hands together under her chin.

"Pretty please with a cherry on top."

"Where would you possibly put it! I mean come on that thing won't even fit through your door!" Zell yelled, seeing how that thing was twice as big as him and three times as big as little Selphie.

Selphie just batted her eyes and stuck out her bottom lip.

Zell let out an exaggerated sigh and hung his head low. He knew he was defeated.

"Fine…fine…I'll win you that stupid thing." Zell reluctantly caved in.

Selphie flew onto him like a wild moomba and gave him a big bear hug. "Oh Zelly, you're the best!" She excitedly exclaimed.

Zell's eyes began to water and he was gasping for air. "Sel, I…I can't breathe!" Zell managed out.

Zell looked to his left and followed Selphie to the game where her beloved stuffed animal was being held captive. He looks up at the prized stuffed animal hanging in the center of all the rest with bright lights surrounding it.

Zell looked straight ahead and was prepared to see a game that was impossible to beat.

"No……way!" Zell exclaimed completely stunned.

The game was none other than throwing a baseball and knocking over all the milk bottles.

"BOOYAH!" Zell beamed and did a back flip, shocking even Selphie.

"Zell, what the…" That was all Selphie managed out before Zell flew past her and already paid the man five gil for three balls.

Zell began tossing one of the balls up and down in his hand, and stared down the six milk bottles that were stacked neatly in a pyramid, just begging to be knocked over.

"So you're telling me all I have to do is throw this ball and knock done those milk bottles, and I can win that?" Zell asked pointing to the hilariously oversized Carbunkle doll.

"Yup." Replied the kind man, but not those milk bottles, those ones." Zell's gaze followed the man's finger to another set of six milk bottles that were also stacked nealy in a pyramid but were approximately seventy to eighty feet away!

Zell's jaw dropped. "No….way…" Zell whipped around to face the man. "You've got to be kidding me; there is no way in hell anyone can throw that far and actually HIT THOSE THINGS!"

"Well you could always try for the closer ones and win a smaller prize." He pointed to another Carbunkle doll but instead of being ridiculously large it was ridiculously small, about 4 inches tall to be exact.

Zell looked at Selphie and could see the disappointment in her eyes. Zell's heart ached, he couldn't let the only person who actually cared about him down.

Selphie began to turn around and walk away, but she was suddenly hoisted up in the air and turned back around.

"Zell what are you doing, put me down this instant!" She demanded.

"What, you're not going to watch me win that stuffed animal?" Zell asked pointing the LARGE Carbunkle doll.

Selphie jumped back. "What! Zell come on, there is no way anyone could win at this game, it is just a big rip off." She started pulling on Zell's arm to leave.

Zell resisted and handed the man 5 gil for three balls. Before throwing he turned around and flashed Selphie his trademark grin.

Selphie's heart did a little back flip, as she couldn't help but know Zell truly loved her. She also realized there was no chance in hell for Zell to win this, but just the act of trying was enough for her.

After the first two REALLY bad misses Zell began to focus with all his might. He lined himself up just right.

'_Alright Zell, you can do this! You got this, you own this game, come on!' _Zell began his mental pep talk. "Yeah I own this!" Zell accidentally said aloud.

Everyone including Selphie was giving him weird looks, it's not everyday you see someone talk to themselves out in public.

'_Shit, didn't mean to say that out loud, ah well. There's your target, it ain't that far, you got this!'_ Zell cocked an eyebrow at his last statement. _'Ain't that far, are you looking at the same thing I am! Ain't that far, ain't that far, it would talk a friggin rocket launcher to throw this ball down there!'_

Zell smacked himself in the face, trying to pump himself up.

'_Come on Zell, can't think negative here!' _Zell closed his eyes and sucked in a huge breath.

His eyes quickly burst open. "Here we GO!" Zell whips the ball with all his might and then some.

The ball went flying and to everyone's surprise it is right on target. Everyone's mouths drop as they stand there watching what seems to be a miracle.

The ball looks to have the distance, and even looks to have the aim.

"Oh my god I'm GOING TO WIN!" Zell yelled ecstatic, and jumped up in the air.

Just then the ball had a disgusting curve and flew ten feet to the right, nowhere near the intended target.

Zell dropped to his knees, and almost wanted to cry. "N…no way, I had it, I really had it!" Zell couldn't believe it.

Selphie put a soft hand on Zell's shoulder. "Well good try Zell, come on lets grab something to eat, like some hotdogs!" She asked trying to cheer Zell up.

Zell rose to his feet quickly and just when Selphie thought he was going to go with her she heard him ask for three more balls.

Selphie couldn't believe it, she tried to stop him, but nothing worked.

Zell looked at her with loving eyes. "Hey don't worry about me, go get something to eat, order me ten or so hotdogs and by the time you get back you will have a new stuffed Carbunkle!" Zell beamed and waved her away.

Selphie couldn't believe him, but she complied anyways.

It took Selphie an unbelievable forty-five minutes to order and get their food. She returned to the game thinking to find a defeated Zell who was just waiting for her to come back so he could get the hell out of there.

Well she was some what right. She found Zell, who still hasn't come close to winning, but he wasn't leaving.

She put her hand on Zell's shoulder making Zell jump a mile. "Come on Zell, I got the food, but I could only get five hotdogs, because that was all they had. Now stop wasting your money and let's go eat." She stated happily.

Zell whipped around to face her, his eyes crazed with insanity. He grabbed his hotdogs and shoved them all in his mouth at once. Almost choking, he somehow managed to swallow them.

Selphie didn't know what to do; she didn't want to get her hand chewed off by the inhuman garbage disposal known as Zell. She was just frozen in shock.

"Thanks Sel, I needed a refueling." Zell said hurriedly and turned back around ordering three more balls.

Selphie waited there for how long she couldn't remember. All she could think about was how she wasted her whole night at the festival to watch Zell go broke.

"Oh this is just great, I put in all this work, and I don't even get to have a good time." She growled angrily to herself.

About two hours, two hundred and sixty-five gil, and one hundred and fifty-nine balls later Zell was completely exhausted. His arm could barely move, and Selphie was almost passed out next to him. His eyes were glazed over and drool was coming out of his mouth.

"One…more time…." Zell said giving the man his last five gil.

Zell didn't even aim anymore, he didn't even open his eyes, he just lobbed the balls hoping by some miracle that he would hit something. But like all the other times he didn't.

Zell looked down in his hand and saw it was his last ball. "Hugh…..Last one…." Zell tiredly stated and hurled it with all his might. Since Zell didn't have any strength left he throw it like the last one hundred throws, a very inaccurate rainbow arc throw. Zell like everyone else knew it wasn't going to hit the bottles, so he put Selphie on his shoulder and began walking away.

Selphie was so tired from just sitting there; she didn't mind have Zell carry her.

"WE HAVE A WINNER!"

Zell froze in his tracks, his eyes grew wide and his heart started to race. Zell turned around and saw by some act of god that he managed to knock down all the bottles. He was freaking out, he unknowingly dropped Selphie on her butt hard and ran over and claimed his prize.

"Ohhhhh baby! You don't know what you put daddy through!" Zell rubbed his cheek up and down the large doll, as tears of joy streamed down his face.

Suddenly Zell flew forward with tremendous force, as Selphie smacked him on the back of the head.

"That's for dropping me, and that's my stuffed Carbunkle!" She stated with authority, and proudly claimed HER prize!

Zell just shook his head, relieved that somebody has that damn thing. Zell and Selphie happily walked together and decided they should head back to their rooms to stash their new found "friend."

They were walking back and finally reached the dance floor. Zell set the doll on the ground and shook his arms.

"Damn Selph, don't help me or anything." Zell complained, massaging his shoulders.

"Oh come on Zelly, you're supposed to be a big strong man, you don't expect a dainty little girl like me to be carrying that thing, do ya?" She asked smiling.

Realizing she does make a good point Zell hurls the massive animal back onto his shoulder. Selphie grabbed Zell's hand and led the way. Trudging past the dance floor, Zell happily glances at all the young couples dancing.

Just as they were about the reach the end of the dance floor Selphie felt her arm jerk backwards. She realized Zell's grip had gotten insanely strong, to the point where it started to hurt. She noticed he had stopped dead in his tracks and his eyes were locked on to something.

She followed his intense gaze. Her hands flew straight up to her mouth; she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

It felt as though a fist of ice plunged its way deep inside Zell's chest. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't move, all he could do was just stand there as his heart was being crushed.

A beautiful honey-haired female with a gorgeous spaghetti strapped red satin dress with a perfectly placed slit up the right side of her leg, had her arms wrapped around a taller blonde with a savage scare slashed across his face.

There she was, Quistis Trepe, happily dancing with Seifer Almasy. Zell thought of breaking down right there, the pain was so much he wanted to vomit.

Selphie's heart ached for her love-struck friend, but she didn't know what to do. The song abruptly ended, and as the lyrics faded away so did Zell's soul.

Seifer pulled Quistis close to him; their bodies almost seemed to be one. Quistis' mouth jumped as she felt Seifer press his warm soothing lips to hers.

That was it, the last even he could take. Everyone and everything in the world has gone against him and he couldn't cope.

As he stand frozen in time watching the only person he ever cared for in such a way stand before him, even though she told him she couldn't go tonight, not to mention the sharp fact that she is kissing another; and someone who is considered an enemy.

It was at this moment in time Zell could feel himself...die inside...

Author's Note: Well there ya go. I hope I made this chapter long enough. And the next chapter will be up very soon:) Well keep up with the reviews cuz they're a big help, and thanks a lot!


	10. Tough Decisions

Disclaimer: I don not own any of the characters of FFVIII, I just own the story. I hope you like it and **PLEASE READ AND REVIEW :) **

**Ch.10: ** _**Tough Decisions**_

Zell couldn't believe his eyes, everything around him, all the dancers the games, even the music seemed devoid of sound. Even if Zell wanted to move he couldn't, it was as though his feet were permanently glued to the floor, purposely making him endure the torture of watching the sight before him.

Selphie watched in horror as her friend's heart was being crushed. She didn't know what to do, finally she had enough of this and tightly gripped Zell's hand and grabbed her Carbunkle, then she proceeded to drag the two soulless beings out of the room.

Upon exiting the festival Selphie could see the hurt in Zell's eyes. Those same eyes that had a natural sparkle to them were now dull and dark, making Selphie's spine shiver at the sight.

Selphie led Zell back to her room, which was the plan in the beginning. The whole walk there neither one said a word, it was an eerie silence. Finally to much of Selphie's relief they had made it back to her room.

She fumbled with her card key, but eventually opened her door. She entered the darkened room that was occupied by shadows, but when she realized that her presence was the only one in the room she looked back to see Zell, looking more lost than ever.

"Zell…" Selphie started cautiously. "Aren't you going to come in?"

His eyes were fixated on the ground; he never looked up or made a sound. It was as though he was a soulless automaton just following orders. As he crossed the threshold into her room, he just stood there.

He wanted to breakdown right there, but he couldn't, he couldn't do anything, but keep replaying Quistis and Seifer kissing over and over again.

Selphie looked over at her heart broken friend, who hasn't moved or even blinked, with a large scowl across his face. _'Oh Zell…..I'm so sorry….'_ Selphie began to weep silently, but eventually she held it in, not wanting Zell to think he is the reason for her tears, but he is the reason, isn't he.

Yes she is crying because of Zell, but because she loves him and it kills her to see him get hurt this way, by someone who was supposed to be his friend. Selphie nervously poked at the carpet with her toe, not knowing what else to do.

She didn't know if Zell wanted to talk about it, or if he wanted to be left alone. She once again looked over to Zell, but he was just a statue, unmoving and emotionless.

Selphie bit her bottom lip as tears once again threatened to spill. She gazed out her window and saw the beautiful beach of Balamb.

"He…hey Zell…."

Zell didn't respond.

Selphie slowly and carefully walked over to him, like someone would do if they were walking up to a scared deer, so not to make it run away. She reached out her hand and entwined her fingers with Zell's.

She could feel his hand shaking uncontrollably, she didn't know if it was from anger or just sadness.

"Zell let's go down to the beach." She whispered in his ear and started leading the way.

Once again Zell unconsciously complied and walked with her to the beach. Upon exiting the Garden Selphie could feel the warm sea breeze buffet her hair and tassel the bottom of her beautiful dress.

She gazed at the soft pale orb in the sky that floated so peacefully in the heavens. It only took a few moments before they were on the beach. She stared deep into Zell's one magnificent sapphire pools and saw they were glazed over with an immense hurt that she would never wish upon her worst enemy.

She saw Zell had a far away look in his eyes, like he was looking at something she could never dream of.

The soft, soothing lyrics of a slow song drifted along with the comforting breeze to both their ears. Selphie turned to face Zell and wrapped her slender arms around the young blonde and pulled his body close to hers.

Selphie got up on the balls of her feet and leaned close to Zell's ear.

"Zell…please, will you please have this dance with me?" She asked her voice incased in sorrow.

Zell didn't answer, he couldn't, the Zell everyone knew is now dead. It's not as though he can just forget the events that just happened and go ahead and dance the night away. He just wanted to go back to his room and finish what he had started. But this decision is one where he would leave his friends, leave Selphie...forever...

Just as Zell was ready to break Selphie's loving embrace and go to his room, he could feel warm sharp droplets of water dance about on his neck.

Zell's eyes widen, he knew it wasn't raining, and finally for the first time in the past hour, he looked down at Selphie holding him, with her face buried in his neck. She was shaking profusely and crying. He didn't know if she was shaking because she was cold or because he didn't say yes to dancing with her.

He couldn't believe it but, what was left of his heart sunk even lower; he was being such a jerk to his only real friend. He had made her cry because he was being selfish. Zell gazed down at the petite brunette softly crying into his chest and wrapped his arms around her slender body.

"I'd love this dance." Zell whispered quietly, as he wrapped his hands around Selphie's hips and drew her close to him. Zell embraced her with a fervor she had missed from him. He loved this feeling; the feeling of having somebody to hold.

Her body was so warm and comforting. He could feel the immense heat radiate off her body and mingle with his.

Selphie stopped crying and even stopped shaking.

"Sel, why are you so good to me? What could I have possibly done right to deserve a friend as good as you?" Zell asked dejectedly.

A warm smile placed itself on her lips. She sniffled her nose and looked Zell straight in the eyes. "Because I love you Zell. I will always be there for you no matter what." Selphie replied sincerely.

Zell leaned down and gently placed a kiss on Selphie's cheek, which was slightly red and puffy from crying.

A swarm of butterflies were set loose in Selphie's stomach. She loved that feeling, knowing she had helped her friend in his time of need.

Selphie gazed deep into Zell's eyes. "Zell, I'm always here for you." Selphie said sympathetically. She reached up and planted a gentle, loving and sincere kiss onto Zell's lips. It was strictly a friend kiss, showing that she truly does love Zell, and he knew that, and neither were uncomfortable with it.

"Well the songs almost over, and I'll be damned if you don't at least get to dance to one song." Zell said, trying to sound like his old self.

Selphie smiled and encircled his neck with her arms. Zell's hands still resting in their correct spot on Selphie's petite hips and he was starting to get nervous. His face glowed red and sweat began to congregate on his brow.

Selphie noticed and just smiled. She pulled Zell's strong body close to hers and once they were pressed together she gently laid her head on his shoulder.

Surprisingly Zell was an exquisite dancer. The two danced together as if they were dating and deeply in love. They floated across the beach, elegantly and gently, listening to the wonderful music and the waves gently crashing onto the beach.

It was so serine, they moment was ethereal. The two were extremely happy, Zell was happy to know that there was someone in this world who truly cared for him and Selphie was happy to be helping a friend desperately in need.

"It's so lovely out here." Selphie whispered in Zell's ear almost afraid the sound would ruin their moment.

"I know, it's stunning, absolutely breathtaking, just like you are." Zell lovingly whispered back.

As the music faded, so did their dancing. Zell pulled his friend into a loving hug and she returned the embrace. As she pulled away she gently placed her small hand on his check.

"Thank you Zell." She stated in a hushed voice. She leaned in and for the second time of the night she gently let her soft warm lips brush against his. Their lips parted and as they connected it was as though they were made to fit together. It was a searing almost desperate kiss, but one that was loving and sincere just between two friends who truly cared for one another.

Zell knew that this kiss didn't mean anything more than an action that told him Selphie loves him and will always be there for him. She was Irvine's and she loved him more than Zell, but in a different way. And Zell would never even think about Selphie anymore than just a friend. And too, Selphie would never think of Zell more than a friend.

They were just two friends who truly knew the meaning of friendship.

Zell gazed over at Selphie and saw that she was once again shivering. He walked over and gently draped his jacket over her shoulders and rubbed her arms.

"Thanks Zelly." She stated and smiled.

Zell let out a long sigh. "It's getting late and a bit chilly, so come on let's get you back to your room." Zell took her hand tenderly and walked her back to Garden. After a few moments they were back at Selphie's door.

Selphie gazed up at Zell. "Hey Zell will you stay over for a while and watch a movie with me?"

Zell just smiled. "Sure thing Sel."

Zell entered Selphie's reasonably kept room and sat down on her couch while she went into the bathroom. She quickly got dressed into a pair of Minimog decorated pajama pants and a small yellow tank top. She then grabbed all the DVD's she owned. So it took her about five trips to bring them all over.

"Well Zelly, what shall we watch?"

"How 'bout this one?" Zell asked holding up Army of Darkness.

Selphie frowned. "I…don't think so, how about The Notebook?"

Zell snorted. "Yeah…uh…no….What about Enter the Dragon?"

"Um….Gone with the Wind?" Selphie asked.

Zell let out an exaggerated sigh. "I see it is gonna be some stupid girly movie huh?" Zell asked with a scowl.

"Yup" Selphie stated proudly.

"Fine go ahead, put in whatever." Zell reluctantly caved in.

Selphie bounded towards the DVD player and put in her movie.

She then quickly snuggled up next to Zell and pressed play. Almost two hours and a box of tissues later the movie had ended. Zell was completely relieved, because now his shirt was out of the danger of being used for a tissue for Selphie to blow her nose on.

Zell bounded off the couch and grabbed one of his movies and put it in. After pressing play it took Selphie a record ten minutes to fall asleep in Zell's lap. He gazed down at her and smiled a warm smile. He unknowingly began stroking her hair and caressing the side of her face. His fingers began tenderly tracing her jawbone.

She looked so beautiful there, sleeping soundly and peacefully. Her face slightly illuminated by the television screen. The movie quickly got over and Selphie was curled up into a cute little ball.

Zell slowly got up so as to not disturb her, and bent down and picked her up in his arms. She was so light it felt like Zell was holding a small feather in his arms.

Zell walked with Selphie in his arms to her bedroom. He gently laid her down and pulled the covers over her tightly. When she was nice and snuggled in Zell brushed away a misplaced auburn lock of hair and tucked it behind her ear. Then he leaned in and gently placed a loving kiss on her forehead.

"Goodnight and sweet dreams. I love you Sel, you are the best friend anyone could possibly have, and I constantly thank the stars for you being my friend. Maybe someday I'll see you again, I'm sorry….." Zell whispers in her ear, before exiting the room.

He abruptly stops hearing the groggy Selphie stir from her bed. "I…luv yooouuu too…Don't ….goeeee." With that unconscious statement said Selphie quickly returned to her sleeping state.

Zell just shook his head and smiled. Looking back one last time at Selphie who was the only person who taught him the true meaning of friendship.

"I love you." He mouthed not trusting his voice at the moment. Walking out of her room, he silently shut the door.

"Hugh...I may never see her or anyone of my other friends again...Am I really willing to make that sacrifice." Zell walked slowly to his room contemplating his next course of action.

He suddnely stopped as vision of Quistis and Seifer swam before his eyes making him want to vomit.

"Everyone hates me anyways, I'll just be doing them all a favor...Goodbye..."

He decided it was time to leave….forever……

Author's Note: Well there ya go, I'm sorry this one took a while to get up, but I've been working a lot, and I promise the next one will be up really soon. I hope this chapters up to par, but if not I am sorry, but no worries cuz I got something really good planned for next chapter. Well Please keep sending me reviews, or I should say review. Thanks again AZND45:)


	11. Letters

**Ch. 11:** _** Letters**_

Bloodshot and crust filled eyes open to a hideous knocking at the door.

"Ughh…this had better be good!" The really annoyed Selphie rolls over and sees it is only 7:30am. A large sigh escapes the tiny female and she proceeds to roll out of bed.

"Yeah I'm coming" Came Selphie's groggy response to the continuous knocking at her door, which at this point and time was making her more and more aggravated.

Finally she reached her door and rips it open with much force. Her eyes burst into flames as she was ready to tear the head off her unsuspecting victim if they didn't have a damn good reason for waking her up this early in the morning.

"Hey darlin'" Came the long southern drawl of her lover's voice, as he wraps her up in his loving arms.

"Ohh….Irvy…" Selphie melted in her boyfriend's arms as he smothered her with passionate kisses.

"So Sefie, have I missed anything since I've been away?" Irvine asked curiously.

"Yeah…ME!" Selphie replied smugly with a wide grin.

"You got that right doll." Irvine replied and then swept her off her feet and carried her back to her bed.

Selphie being lost in the moment wrapped her tiny arms around Irvine's neck and rested her head softly on his strong shoulder.

"Oh Irvy, I've missed you so much." She coo'd in is ear.

"I know Sefie, I've missed you so much, I almost had to come home early just to see your beautiful face." Irvine replied sweetly.

Irvine gently laid Selphie on her bed. As he was about to stand back up, he noticed Selphie's tiny arms had an insanely strong grip around his neck pulling him back down so she could have her chance at smothering him with kisses.

They pulled back only because of lack of air, but this gave Irvine a chance to talk.

"Hey I found this envelope outside your door." Irvine stated while handing it over to Selphie.

Selphie grabbed it and was amazed at the beautiful silver script lettering on the outside.

It was addressed, "My Friends."

Selphie furrowed her brow as she looked skeptically at the envelop.

"Well aren'tcha gonna open it darlin'?" Came Irvine's impatient question.

Selphie didn't even hear him, she was lost in her thoughts about why this envelop was in front of her door, and who could have left it there.

Slowly she began tearing open the top of the envelop. There were only three letters enclosed.

Selphie had a really ominous feeling in the pit of her stomach. She swallowed the rather large lump in her throat and began retrieving the letters from inside their enclosure.

The first one she pulled up read in beautiful gold leaf,

"My sunshine, Sel,"

In my lonely world of only shadows, you were my beautiful ray of sunshine that pierced the darkness and helped me in my time of need. You are the only one who took on the arduous task of always being my friend no matter what, and I love you for that. You have always been there for me and I wish I could say the same about me, but I'm so sorry to say that I can't. Sel, I keep trying to convince myself that what I'm about to do is the right thing, and that I am happy to be leaving, but you know as well as I do, deep down inside it is all a lie. I don't know how I will live without you by my side, I don't know if I can survive knowing that I wont have my beautiful ray of sunshine in my lonely world. So many times your smile and cheerfulness have been the only things that have kept me going these long cold years. I don't think you truly understand how special you are, not just to me, but to the rest of the gang, without you no one would be as strong as they are now. Well if I could ask you one last favor; please don't cry for me Sel, I couldn't live with myself knowing I made you cry, and also do your best to stay optimistic and realize that it is a good thing I am gone and tell everyone they will be much happier. You are one of the few people who know the true meaning of friendship. Thanks Sel, I love you so much!

Your friend and so much more,

Zell Dincht.

Selphie's eyes fell to the ground, tears dangerously stinging her eyes, but she didn't want to cry, she wanted to stay strong...for Zell... Emotions; anger, sadness, depression, so many emotions all tearing through her soul all at once. These words in Zell's letter have literally stolen her breath and her heart. Her knees give way to the emotions and she collapses on the ground, with the letter crumpled in her fist.

She whispers to herself as tears finally stream down her face, "How can I be optimistic about you leaving? How can I ever be happy again? There are no good things. "Without you I am…..lost….."

Irvine not knowing what is going on with Selphie, kneels down beside her and wraps loving arms around her, trying to console her.

"Sefie, please tell me what is wrong, who wrote it, and what did that letter say?" Irvine asked hastily and concerned.

Selphie couldn't speak, she was crying too hard to even breathe. Irvine becoming more worried by the moment grabs the letter and begins reading it.

Upon finishing even Irvine lowered his hat off his perch and could feel his throat close up as tears began to sting at his eyes. Irvine rose to his feet and grabbed the envelop on the bed and two more letter fell out.

One was addressed to "My One and Only,Quistis" and the other to the "Orphanage gang." Irvine deciding whether to read the letters now or wait and let Quistis read her own and have the others gather and read the other letter when everyone is present.

He looks back over at his bawling girlfriend and decides to wait. His gaze once again focuses on the letters in his hand and he wonders what could have possible happened while he was gone.

'_Yeah I always knew Zell was lonely, I mean him and Quistis were always the outcasts because everyone else had a significant other, but I mean I never knew it was this bad. Well I guess even Quistis had more friends than Zell, I mean she always hung out with Rinoa and Selphie. I guess Zell and I didn't really hang out a lot now that I think about it. But I'm not his best friend Squall is. Now that I think about it, Squall actually never hung out with him unless they were assigned to the same mission.'_

Irvine shakes his head realizing he too played a part in this horrible game.

'_Poor Zell, I never realized he was…..so alone….I always thought a sniper was supposed to be all alone and I was for a time, but then Selphie came into my life, and saved me from myself. I guess Zell never found his angel…..'_

Irvine walked back over and kneeled next to Selphie.

It took several moments before Selphie could regain herself and then she and Irvine went to find the others. The entire walk neither said a word, Selphie was too distraught in the thought of losing her best friend, even though Squall was considered Zell's best friend, she always considered Zell her best friend. And Irvine was too ashamed with guilt knowing that it was partly his fault for Zell's loneliness.

After a few moments they found the gang in the cafeteria eating lunch. As Selphie walked towards them she could see students eating hotdogs and all she could think about was Zell. She almost broke down right there, but she couldn't, not yet, she had to deliver the rest of the letters.

Squall was happily sitting across from Rinoa, who was in a deep conversation with Quistis to her right. The sight of Quistis made Selphie's anger boil, how could she do that to one of her friends?

But did Selphie really have a right to be mad? Selphie didn't know so she decided to keep quiet.

As they neared the table Squall waved them over. Selphie saw everyone sitting happily together, but like usual, no Zell, even though Zell was gone at the moment, she knew if he was still here, nobody would have envited him to eat. Even she and Irvine were guilty of hanging out with their friends, while Zell was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey what took you guys so longl?" Squall asked curiously.

Neither Irvine nor Selphie said a word, but their silence said everything. Everyone at the table could see Selphie's eyes where bloodshot and puffy, it looked like the martial artist Zell had punched her in the face with all his might. They couldn't see Irvine's face because his hat was pulled down at just the right angle, but that too told everyone something was seriously wrong.

Rinoa's hands shoot up to her mouth. "Oh Selphie, what in Hyne is wrong, what happened?"

Selphie just handed them the letters. She handed the one addressed to "The Orphanage Gang" to Squall and she handed Quistis her own letter.

Squall began to read aloud,

My "friends,"

Well we have had some really good memories, mostly, no actually all of them on missions. I wish I could talk about some personal memories with you all, but honestly I can't think of any, and that hurts me more than any of you will ever know. I want all you to know I am your friend, and I wish I could call you my friends, but all I can really call you are my associates.

Squall,

You are considered by many to be my best friend, but you know as well as I do that title cannot rightfully belong to you. I just sit here and think about all of the good times we could've had together, but all the times I have suggested so many things for us to do, you just tell me you don't have anytime. Time; maybe if we meet at a different time, and a different place then you and I could have truly been best friends. So this is to you and the friendship we could've had. I stand here, and through this punch for you.

Irvine,

My number one gunslinger. You once told me that no one could understand the loneliness of a sniper, and yet I have lived that loneliness everyday of my life. Though we never really hung out I have no regrets between us, because I am truly thankful. I thank you with all my heart and soul that the time you didn't spend with me, you spent with Selphie. She is truly the epitome of perfect. Treat her right, tell her how much you love her and show her, everyday. Don't let a single minute go by without letting her know, someway, somehow, how much you truly care for her. I owe you one, thank you for taking care of an angel here on Earth.

Rinoa,

You are a very kind and understanding person. Your beauty is only matched in comparison by your compassion. You have always been kind towards me, and you even entrusted me with the sacred duty of making your ring. That was an honor I held close to my heart, and put many hours of blood sweat and tears into that ring. I am very glad I had the privilege to know you. Your presence has made me a better person, and for that I thank you.

Well what more can I say, I love you all; I want you all to know I would have given my life without hesitation to protect anyone of you. Even though actions speak louder than words I will still and always call you my friends. I know I am a mess up, and I have failed you all many times, though I try my best not to, and it tares my up knowing I have let you down. But please find it all of your hearts to still consider Zell Dincht one of your friends. I love you all.

Your friend,

Zell Dincht

Rinoa immediately burst out into tears. She couldn't believe what had just happened. Did that mean Zell was really gone.

"Did he leave…..or did he…..did he….kill himself!" Rinoa gasped through ragged breaths.

"Don't say that!" Selphie roared as she too burst into uncontrollable tears.

Squall's mind was racing, he never realized that his actions or lack there of could have really affected Zell this much. He always considered himself to be Zell's best friend, because Zell really never had friends, but the more he thought about it the more he realized he wasn't a friend to Zell…..at all….

For the first time ever, Squall began to cry.

Irvine already mentally prepared himself for a Zell bashing for the way he too was a part of Zell's loneliness, but when that bashing didn't come, he was speechless. Did Zell actually THANK HIM? Thank Irvine for not being his friend and for not hanging out with him or even talking to him! Irvine was shocked; Zell thanked him for spending time with Selphie. Irvine couldn't take it anymore; he broke down right there along with everyone else. Zell truly did care for everyone else, more than himself.

The cowboy lowered his hat, and let the tears fall freely.

Quistis was the next person to read her letter. She couldn't believe what was going on, Zell was gone, one way or another, but he was gone, because he was lonely. And she too knew the path of loneliless, but more importantly that she too was a big factor in pushing Zell away.

She started thinking about the last few days, and how Zell was trying so hard to get her to like him, but she just pushed him away even harder.

'_But I….I had my reasons….'_ Quistis' thoughts echoed.

Author's Note: I am seriously sorry it took so long, but work held me up for a bit. Don't worry though I will keep chipping away at this and try posting everyday! I just want to thank everyone for reviewing. PLEASE keep them coming and tell me what ya think, it really helps a lot! I hope you all really like this story, and think it is interesting. Well I can tell ya what next chapter is going to be even better. What are Quistis' reasons for pushing Zell away, and what will her letter say? Well PLEASE REVIEW and wait for next chapter which will be up VERY SOON:) Thanks!


	12. Goodbye

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the FFVIII characters, I just own the story, and some reference to Everlast. Well Please read REVIEW and ENJOY!**  
**

**Ch.12** **_Goodbye…_**

'_But I….I had my reasons….'_ Quistis' thoughts echoed.

Quistis wasn't able to open the letter that stare her in the face, searching deep down in her soul. Not because she didn't want to, but because she physically couldn't. Her emotions were so strong her body shifted into autopilot and before she knew it she sprung up from the table and ran out crying.

How long she had been running she didn't know, but when she came too she was at Zell's door. She was hesitant to go in, not knowing if she'd she Zell dead, or really gone.

She couldn't take it anymore; she began banging on the door.

"Zell! ZELL PLEASE! ZEEEELLLLL!"

Her frantic yells roared through the halls drawing much attention, but she didn't care. Her sobbing was becoming uncontrollable now, as thoughts of Zell's motionless body lying before her.

She didn't know what to do, nobody was answering and there wasn't any noise coming from inside. She frantically began pounding on the door with her delicate fists, she did it for so long the pain was mind numbing, but she didn't care. Finally she summoned all her might and kicked the door in.

As the door burst open she rushed in, tears flowing down her eyes, frantically searching for Zell.

"ZEEELLLL!" Her screams were heart wrenching.

She searched the entire room, but when she didn't find a trace of Zell, no dead body, nothing, she was very sad yet a slightly feeling of relief warmed her body. She couldn't possibly live with herself knowing Zell had taken his own life and maybe done so partly because of her actions.

She collapsed on Zell's bed with her knees pressed tightly against her chest, as she began rocking back and forth.

She stayed on Zell's bed for hours, just crying and reminiscing. The thought of not having Zell was too much; he was the clown of Balamb, so funny, so full of life.

"He just can't….be gone…" She whispered through her hands over her face, to the listening shadows.

A stinging pain was pressed against her back. She leaned forward slightly and grabbed the intolerable object that was imbedded in her back.

Her eyes yet again begin to water, it was Zell's letter. She still hasn't read it, but she really doesn't want to. She doesn't want to realize Zell is truly gone. She also doesn't want to read the nasty things Zell has to say to her, for being so cruel to him as of late.

Despite her emotions telling her no, her unconscious forces her to involuntarily open the letter. She noticed the gorgous ruby scrpit lettering. Zell truly was an artistic, elegant soul. The first line Quistis read made her heart flutter and send fire through her body.

My One and Only, Quistis,

I've had so many things to say to you for so long, but I never knew how. I've never been able to express my feelings for you, so I actually started writing little journels that express the way I feel for you. And yes, I have finally gotten up the nerve to show you these. As you begin to read, you will notice the first few entries are describing all the same thing and yet, each is saying something unique. The final entry, I'm sorry to say, is the result of betrayal and unfaithfulness. I have tried to understand why you would possibly lie to me, but I cannot come up with any answers. I hope you will finally know what I have been trying to say to you for so long, my one and only, Quistis.

Day 1: Well this is my first real journal, I've never done this before, and I don't really know how this works, but I guess I'll just describe my feelings. Maybe someday I will have the guts to show you this journal, but until then the only ones who know about this, are my words and myself. Here it goes; I've had too much time thinking about all my mistakes, my heart, my mind, my soul, my body aches. I hunger for the loving arms of your embrace; I walk along this lonely road. Too much time, thinking about everything that went wrong; I cry my eyes out every time I hear your song; I hope this path leads me back where I belong. Too much pride for me to up and take the blame, deep inside its killing me with pain, every night asleep I call your name. My dear Quistis, I just wish I could tell you all this, and so much more, I……

Day 2: Well I'm sitting alone tonight, rain falling on my windowsill. I just want to do what's right, but I don't know if I ever will. I'm so lonely, it's kind of scary, and this kind of lonely is making me wary. I'm so lonesome….I could die….Sitting alone tonight, waiting for the sun to shine. Sometimes I kneel and pray hoping someday that you'll be mine. But it seems like you're so many miles away, and I've got so many things to say and all of the games we play, don't matter anyway. Sitting alone tonight waiting for somebody to call, thinking if I up and die, will nobody notice at all. I'm so insecure, I feel so unsure, can't take it anymore, it's never been like this before, and I'm so lonely I feel like crying, and this kind of lonely is worse than…..dying…..I love you Quistis...

Day 3: I can't get you off of my mind, it is driving me crazy, and yet you barely know I exist. I feel so terrible about the mission, I have let all of you down, especially you…Quistis….. You're the air that I breathe; you're the sun when it breaks through the clouds. You're all that I need, but I know that you're having some doubts. I'm down on my knees, praying you'll stick this out. I'm begging you please, **I'm sorry I let you down.** I'm broken like a promise, I'm shattered like a dream, I'm broken with all my pieces scattered around for you to see. I'm broken like a record, I sing the same old song, I'm broken like the heart of a man that's run away from love to long, Quistis what about you? It's so hard to speak; I can barely look you in the eye. It's so hard to breath, but I know I ain't afraid to die. Your breath is so sweet; your kisses could get me high. My heart is so weak; Quistis you're loving could get me by. Quistis I love you so much, please don't hate me for failing you, I don't know if I could live with myself….

Day 4: I realize you and I are becoming more distant, I'm sorry….Everyday, I see your face I wished that I'd stayed. Don't even know what made me runaway; it's just the way I played the game. Emotional, is not word I'd used to explain myself, but now you've got me down upon my knees, oh baby please, just love me back. I don't want to be in love, but you're making me. Let me up, I've had enough, Quistis you're….breaking me. Now here I am, half a man standing alone. Feeling like I lost my only chance at happiness when I let you go. I don't want to be alone, thinking about you girl, but I've got nothing left to hold….in my lonely world. The first time my heart was ever touched, was the day I lost your love. I can feel it in my flesh, my flesh and blood, but my soul can only take so much. So there it is, why can't you give it one more try? You and I could find a way to live if you let me in….just this one time. I know you lost your faith in me, but I still believe. Can I make you understand, can I make you see? I am desperate for your love, and Quistis it's…..breaking me…..

Day 5: This will be my last journal entry. For the first time I honestly don't know what to feel. I guess I am more hurt than anything. Quistis, you told me you couldn't go to the dance because you had papers to grade, but I see you there…..with Seifer…. You could have just told me the truth, do you hate me that much, you must lie to me, and then stab me in the back? Yes I saw you…kiss him….Somebody who tried to kill you, somebody who you swore never to trust again, and yet you somehow trust and even…love him more than you do me….. Cry, but don't cry for me, I can't take it no more, that's the way it must be. You can't lie your way back in, back into my heart, I wont let it be broken again. Well I took a tumble, started to stumble, that's when I fell, into a love I thought was sent from above, I was under your spell. All the things that mattered broken and shattered one by one. I was so sad, now I'm just glad, that it's over and done. There's just one thing I've got to say, I truly loved you, but now I'm walking away. Yeah I truly loved you, put no one above you, but now…..I'm walking away…..Goodbye Quistis I love you with all my heart.

I love you,

Zell Dincht

**Author's Note: ** Well there you go, sorry this one took a while, but I figured I'd put a lot of feeling into this one. I am really happy for a couple of new people who are sending me reviews they are a BIG HELP! And also AZND45 you've been there from the beginning, THANKS A LOT! Keep sending me the reviews! Yes that means everyone PLEASE! Well I hope you guys like the way the story is turning out. I am really trying my best! Thanks:)


	13. Tears of Regret

**Disclaimer:** I don't own of characters of FFVIIII just own the story. Please read, and also **PLEASE REVIEW:) THAKS!  
**

** My Final Heaven   
**

**Ch.13 _Tears of Regret_**

"What have I done?" Quistis cried, her sobbing was now so uncontrollable, it was to the point where breathing was almost impossible, and stopping anytime soon was impossible.

She was the final straw that had _broken_ Zell, as he so elegantly put it. Her actions had broken his soul to the point where he felt he couldn't belong here anymore. Quistis lay on Zell's bed crying for so long, she eventually cried herself to sleep.

Quistis could feel rough hands on her shoulders violently shaking her, followed by loud yelling.

She burst up, frantically searching...

"Quistis, thank Hyne you're alright." Rinoa's concerned voice echoed throughout the hollow room.

"Why wouldn't she be, it's not like she cared about Zell anyway!" Selphie involuntarily yelled, as her uncontrollable anger got the best of her.

Shocked expressions were contagious throughout the room upon hearing a statement like that, especially from somebody like Selphie.

"Shut up Selphie, what would you know?" Quistis roared back through savage tears, and ragged breaths.

At this point Selphie has seriously lost it, her best friend was gone and it was mainly because of the person staring her in the face, telling her to shut up.

"Listen here Quistis! You were supposed to be Zell's friend, and yet as of late all you have been doing is yelling at him and telling him how stupid and worthless he is. And you do this why, just because he tries to show you his true feelings?"

Selphie was on a rampage, Irvine tried calming her down, but she through him aside and kept on going.

"Then you had the nerve to lie right to his face and to me! Even after everything he did just to ask you to some stupid festival, you refused. Honestly how hard would it have been just to suck it up and go with him, you are supposed to be his friend after all. But no, instead you tell him you can't, why, because of no better reason than, 'I have to grade papers!' Yeah Zell and I both knew you were lying, I could see the hurt in Zell's eyes, but that didn't hurt nowhere near as bad as seeing you there. Zell was crushed because of you! You should have just stayed home! But that wasn't even the half of it, so what you were there, who cares, besides Zell. Then he, no WE saw you KISS SEIFER!"

At this point Selphie resembled that of Ifrit, horns and all. She was furious, and wasn't afraid of letting Quistis know. But she could only contain her composure for so long; finally she once again burst out crying in the strong arms of her beloved.

Upon hearing the latest news about Quistis and Seifer everyone just stood there, shocked, with their jaws on the floor and eyes bugging out of their head. Quistis kiss Seifer? That was just absurd and yet it seems to be true.

Quistis couldn't take it anymore.

"I didn't want to go, and I didn't even kiss Seifer!" She bawled.

Selphie couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth. "I SAW YOU!" Selphie yelled in utter disbelief.

"He kissed me!" Quistis pleaded, covering her face with her hands.

"Stop lying! Just tell the truth! It's not like it matters anyways, you got what you want, Zell is….HE'S GONE QUISTIS! ARE YOU FINALLY HAPPY!" Selphie's words were dripping with disdain.

She pierced Quistis' heart. Quistis was unable to say anything because Selphie was…..right, wasn't she?

"Fine yes, yes I wanted Zell to leave, but…" Quistis collapsed to her knees. "But…..not like….this. I didn't mean to hurt him…" Quistis finally broke.

"Oh believe me Quistis you didn't hurt him……you killed him!" Selphie whispered with a deathly cold voice. The words seemingly linger in the air for what felt like hours to Quistis.

"You…you don't understand. I didn't want him to leave Garden, just…just leave me." Quistis replied, trying to break the echoing voices in her head.

"Well Quistis you got your wish…and so much more! The Zell we all knew and loved is GONE!" Selphie left her last few statements with Quistis and stormed out of the room bawling.

Nobody else knew what to do, Irvine did the only thing he could do, he followed Selphie so she wouldn't kill him. Squall and Rinoa just stood there, unable to move. If they stayed it would look like they were taking Quistis' side and if they left then it would look like they favored Selphie.

"It's ok Quistis; maybe Zell will be better off." Rinoa offered her soothing words to try and comfort Quistis before leaving with Squall in the opposite direction of Selphie and Irvine.

Quistis couldn't believe what just happened. Not only does Zell hate her, Selphie obviously does, and probably the others too, but they just wont show it. Why wouldn't they, she is the reason why there close friend is gone, and maybe gone…..forever.

As the days passed, everyone noticed Quistis hasn't been to any of her classes. Finally Selphie started feeling guilty for all those rotten things she said, whether they were true or not, her guilt got the best of her.

Selphie let out a large sigh. "Well I suppose I should go an see if she is ok." Selphie murmured to herself with a frown on her face.

She finally decided to go see Quistis and try to make amends. Walking to Quistis' room, she was becoming very nervous, Quistis probably wouldn't forgive her or even talk to her, but Selphie decided she would try anyways.

A few loud knocks on the door and Selphie waited patiently. A few more and then Selphie started to worry.

"Quistis?" Selphie yelled through the door. She waited a few moments, and no answer. She started getting really worried, what if Quistis had actually…?

"No!" Selphie said shaking her head, reassuring herself that her friend is still alright.

The door was surprisingly unlocked, and thankfully Selphie was still rational enough to try the knob before kicking it in. It opened and Selphie frantically searched the room, hoping by some miracle to find Quistis in the shower or something.

After a complete sweep of the room, she didn't find any trace of her.

Selphie felt horrible, she almost burst out into tears right there. What was going on with everybody, they are all disappearing. And this time it was because of Selphie.

Selphie feel to her knees and began sobbing in her hands.

"What have I done? Quistis is…..gone…."

**Author's Note:** Well I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but no worries, 'cuz I am posting another chapter tonight. So it will hopefully be up in the next few hours! If I can stay awake. I am also sorry that this chapter isn't that eventful but I will do my best and try to make the next one a nail biter. I also want to thank those who have been sending me reviews on a constant basis and giving me support and advice when I needed it. This person has been there from the beggining and I don't know how to thank them enough**-**_**AZND45, **__This person has also almost been there from the begging and I thank them with everything I have__**-PKRNS,**_ and the newly added _**-CD104**_ you have all been great, and please keep sending me reviews and telling me what you think! s:) And that goes for new readers as well, please send me reviews if you wish, I would really appreciate them. Well I hope you like my story, Later...


	14. Reflections

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the FFVIII characters, I just own the plot. Please read and REVIEW! Also enjoy, I really hope you all like this story!

_**My Final Heaven**_

**Ch.14: _Reflections_**

As Quistis started walking through the town of Balamb she began thinking to herself.

'_Wow I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm not the type of person who intentionally hurts someone else and yells at them so they stay away from me…'_

She gazes up at the evening sky, as the echoes in her head return.

'_But I had my reasons….' _She shakes her head and continues her search for any clues on Zell's whereabouts.

She decides the first reasonable place to ask questions, is the Dincht's residence.

"Wow, I really have changed, I'm not the emotional and irrational one who leaves without even telling anyone, especially Cid, he is probably going to revoke my instructor's license." Quistis mused to herself upon reaching the Dincht's house.

As she step foot on the doorstep a worried look crosses her face.

"What if Ma doesn't know Zell is gone? And if I ask her she may become really worried, I would feel terrible."

Her thoughts were quickly broken when the door swings open and a rather burly woman engulfs Quistis in a loving and sincere hug.

"Oh my dear, it's been so long. You look so beautiful." Came a surprisingly tender voice from the deceivingly masculine looking woman.

"Oh Ma…" Quistis nervously said, wishing she hadn't come at all.

"Come in, come in my dear." The older woman offered.

"Oh I'd love to, but I was just looking for Zell." Quistis shakily replied.

Ma's eyes proceeded to widen. "Why, is something wrong?" She asked concernedly.

"Oh no, I just wanted someone to….train with." Quistis was never a good liar, but surprisingly she was able to fool the sweet lady standing before her.

"Oh, yeah my boy sure does love his training. Well I haven't seen him since last week. Sorry dear."

"Oh that's ok, sorry to bother you." Quistis spoke softly, though she was disappointed.

"Oh you were no bother dear. Hey you might want to try Deling City; I do remember Zell saying he wanted to visit the some of the stores down there. He told me that last week when he realized one of his sneakers was becoming too worn."

Quistis' face lit up like the sun. "Oh thank you so much Ma!" Quistis yelled as she ran out of the house, despite the fact that Ma was giving her a weird look, wondering why it was so important to train with Zell anyway.

Quistis was off, she realized she would have to take the Train to Deling, because there was no way Selphie or Squall would let her take the Ragnorok unless it was for a mission, and not to mention let her take it alone.

She got to the train station pretty quick considering she was running in her heels and a long skirt. She bought her ticket and then took her place in her seat on the train. It would be only a fifteen minute ride, but to Quistis it seemed like an eternity, which wasn't good, because this gave Quistis time to think and right now that wasn't a good thing.

Quistis feels the jolt of the train starting to move as she stares listlessly out the dust covered window.

'_I wonder if Zell will actually be there. And if he is, where will he be? Well he has to be staying somewhere, so I guess my first stop will be the hotel.' _She decided to herself.

The minutes passed, though they felt like hours.

'_I…wonder if Zell has thought about me since he's been gone.' _Quistis jumped back at her last thought. _What am I saying, I am the on who pushed him away, Of course he hasn't thought of me, unless it was the thought of getting revenge.'_

Yet again the voice is back repeating the same old line, driving Quistis crazy. **_'But I had my reasons…..'_**

"Reasons….Excuses…." Quistis sighed to the passing scenery.

Finally the train jammed to a halt. Quistis snapped forward and proceeded off the train.

The sun has started going down, casting vibrant orange and pink hues across the sky. After exiting the train Quistis stretched her tired muscles floridly, and proceeded to the hotel.

She has been to Deling only a few other times, but mainly on missions, and didn't have much time to look around and remember where everything is. So she guessed on the direction of the hotel and started walking.

After a few moments of walking around in what seemed to be circles she decided to ask someone for directions.

"Um excuse me…" Her timid voice drew the attention of no one.

"Excuse me" She said again but a little louder. Still the bustling streets didn't stop.

Quistis had enough. "Hey you!" She yelled to the man in a trench coat.

He stopped promptly causing the person behind him to run into his back, almost causing the two to get into a fight.

Quistis couldn't help but feel guilty and a little frightened. She didn't realize how unpleasant the people who lived here were.

The man walks over to Quistis with an angry look plastered on his face.

"Yeah what do you want!" He asked rather annoyed. "This isn't a good place for little girls, even ones as pretty as you!" He let out a wry smirk.

Quistis' right hand reached down and gripped her whip. "Umm…where is….where is the hotel.." Quistis asked shakily.

The man just shook his head and sighed. "Tourists. Well it's that way about another five minutes." He stated pointing his finger to Quistis' left.

"Oh thank you." Quistis happily replied.

"Whatever…Just don't be out too late kitten." The man said as he already started walking away.

Quistis was now really freaked out. Her thoughts then once again trailed to the reason why she was here, Zell. What if he too has become cold and angry?

"No, not Zell, he is too nice of a guy." Quistis assured herself.

After a few moments of walking, she came across the large hotel. She entered the beautiful glass doors and went to the front desk.

"Yes I was wondering if a Zell Dincht is residing here." Quistis asked the desk clerk.

"One moment please." The small lady behind the counter replied as she began putting the name into her computer.

"Why yes he is."

Quistis almost jumped in the air upon hearing the good news.

"Great, can you tell me what his room number is?" Quistis asked excitedly

"It's room **373**."

As Quistis was about to walk up the stairs to find Zell she smacked her lips and felt her throat go completely dry.

"Well I guess getting a drink wouldn't hurt." She stated as she walked down to the small pub in the lower level of the hotel.

As Quistis walked down the stairs, she remembered the times when she would be in the "Dream World" and Laguna would be here with Kiros and Ward listening to Julia play the piano.

A soft smile crossed her lips. She took her seat and waited for the waiter to take her order.

As the waiter showed up, she asked for just a bottle of water.

While waiting she began to reminisce of all the past missions with…Zell. Yeah he could be a klutz most of the time, but he was also there doing his best and willing to give his life for his friends.

After the Ultimicia battle, she could notice something different about Zell. He was still a klutz, but he seemed to be getting closer and closer to Quistis. For some strange reason or another everyone else always seemed to be gone and he and she were always left alone.

They started getting extremely close over the passing months. Whenever she was sad Zell was there with some joke to cheer her up, and when she was lonely Zell was always there to keep her company. Not many knew it, but Quistis didn't really have many friends, yes there were the Trepies, but they were more like fans then friends.

She couldn't forget the time when she had a terrible nightmare of being the only one who wasn't able to return from Ultimicia's time. This was because…..she didn't have anyone special to think of, or anyone to think of her.

She burst out of her bed covered in sweat, shaking profoundly. She walked to the "secrete spot" inside the training center to get her mind off her horrible dream. But she didn't realize Zell was there training and he watched her go in. He was the only one who really cared about Quistis and she pushed him away.

He silently walked behind her as she was leaning against the rail with her arms crossed and elbows resting on it. He could see her shivering; he thought it was from the cold, so he wrapped his strong arms around her, giving her warmth. This made Quistis jump a mile in the air, and she accidentally turned around and just by reaction slapped him in the face.

She couldn't help, but laugh seeing Zell almost in tears from a slap by a tiny girl. He just smiled and pulled her into his embrace. She was lost in his arms, all her feelings of insecurity and loneliness disappeared, and for the first time Quistis was truly happy.

She gazed up into Zell's gorgeous shining sapphire pools, and got lost in his smile. She could have stared into his eyes for eternity, but Zell was the one who broke the silence and asked her what was wrong. This shocked Quistis, not because of the question, many of her friends have asked her what was wrong when she was troubled, but Zell looked honestly concerned for her wellbeing.

She replied like so many other times, when hearing the question, it was out of reaction now.

"Nothing." She stated.

Zell's loving embrace just got tighter, as he whispered in her ear, "Quisty, don't be scared, I'm always here for you."

Quistis' eyes began to water and she could have melted in his loving arms. That's when it happened….the next words out of Zell's mouth changed Quistis forever….

"Quisty….I love you…"

Quistis quickly broke Zell's grasp and whispered something that only her and Zell could hear as she walked away….

**Author's Note: ** Well there's the next chapter! I'm glad I was able to finish tonight, since the last one was so short, still nothing too exciting, but I need to make sure the plot is there. I really hope you all like it! And please keep the reviews coming, trust me, I need all the support I can get :) You guys are awesome (you know who you are), thanks for your support and reviews they mean a lot! Keep the reviews coming! Oh and I hope you all got the room number 373! hehe... :) Nexdt chatper will be up VERY SOON! Yea! Later...


	15. Gazing into Empty Eyes

**Disclaimer: **I dont' own any of the char. of FFVIII, I just own the plot. So read **REVIEW and ENJOY...  
**

**Ch.15: _Gazing into Empty Eyes_**

Quistis' thoughts were quickly shattered by a rough, cold grasp on her shoulder. Frightened she tightly closed her eyes and whipped around; while unknowingly her hand went with her sudden motion ready to strike her mysterious assailant across the face.

She felt her hand abruptly stop, not because it struck the intended target, but because something vehemently grabbed it. Her eyes burst open, to find she is staring into the dark cold eyes of….Zell.

His grip was insanely strong, so strong that it began causing intense pain on Quistis' wrist that pulsed throughout her body. She winced as his grip didn't relent.

"What are you doing here!" Zell's tone was a sinister whisper, as he finally released Quistis' wrist.

She couldn't speak; all she could do was stare. Zell obviously hadn't been keeping up with his grooming, his once baby smooth face was now covered in tiny dark stubble and his usually perky hair was muffled in all directions. She also noticed the hideous sent of alcohol surrounding his body.

'_Zell drink, I have never known Zell to even like the taste of alcohol before…' _Quistis thought to herself._  
_

That didn't frighten her nowhere near as much as Zell's eyes. She remembered when she could get lost for days in those beautiful azure orbs that always seemed to have an enigmatic sparkle about them. But now they were empty and dark; they resembled the eyes of a cold machine, with no emotion…..nothing. She was staring into pits of nothingness; she felt a terrible chill run up her spine.

Finally she snapped too and saw Zell had a disturbing impatient look on his face.

"Well what are you doing here!" Zell's tone filling with more and more anger by the second.

Quistis tried shrugging off the terrible dark feeling in the pit of her stomach, and put on the façade that Zell didn't scare her.

"Zell, we need to talk." Quistis spoke trying to sound stern, but even she could notice the shakiness of her voice.

Zell just cocked an eyebrow at the blonde standing before him and gave a disgusted snort. "Ha…talk….What's there to talk about?" Zell questioned hastily.

Quistis couldn't believe it, has Zell really changed this much, she couldn't remember the last time she ever saw Zell this angry or rude.

"Zell why did you leave?" As soon as she said it, she regretted it. She knew the reason, it was because of her, but it just slipped.

Zell just laughed in her face and then his expression went back to being emotionless. He gazed at her with hard eyes, but Quistis could see a glint of hurt in those same eyes. He then turned around and began walking back up to his room.

"Zell! Zell wait!" Quistis cried, but to no avail, Zell didn't stop.

Quistis huffed as she watched a person she thought she knew walk out of her sight. Then again, she thought she knew herself too.

She contemplated whether or not she should go up to his room tonight, or let him sober up and cool off. After a few moments of waiting she noticed everyone in the room was giving her weird looks, probably because just a minute ago she was yelling across the entire room.

She began to blush profusely and then decided she would go talk to Zell, she sure as hell wasn't staying down there any longer, if she had she might of burst from all the blood rushing to her face.

"Oh what in Hyne was the number of Zell's room?" Quistis cursed herself for forgetting.

"Ummm I am pretty sure it was 37…..3 yeah that was it." Happy she remembered she began her journey to Zell's room.

It was a few flights of stairs before she got on the right floor. Finally she was staring destiny in the face. She was face to face with Zell's door.

Quistis could feel her anxiety build as she waits in front of his door. She took a deep breath and knocked on his door.

She could hear a rustling inside and then a loud thud quickly followed by cursing. It was Zell stubbing his toe on the side of his bed.

"Oh great, just what I need, Zell even more upset." Quistis mused to herself as the door flung open.

Once again she was face to face with a person who resembled Zell in every way, except his attitude and…his eyes.

Zell tried closing the door but Quistis held it open. Zell squinted his eyes, giving Quistis a death glare, but she didn't care, instead she barged past Zell. She could hear him exhale a large sigh.

"You're not going to leave me alone, are you?" Zell questioned in defeat.

Quistis just smiled and shook her head. Zell went to his bathroom with Quistis following him and examining his room. By the looks of it, it had to be pretty expensive, because it was very nice; she figured it must have been a sweet of some kind.

"Hey! What you don't think I'm **capable** enough to take a shower by myself or something?" Zell harshly questioned, while taking off his shirt obviously annoyed.

Quistis completely embarrassed that she hadn't realized she walked with Zell into his bathroom, rushed out, before her face turned into a tomato.

Quistis could hear the faucet running and Zell get in. She wondered if Zell really did hate her this much, or if he was just really hurt.

She sighs, _'of course he is hurt, look what I did to him, I made him leave garden, and question his worth as a person._'

The water stops and Zell appears from the bathroom. Quistis smiles as she notices he has shaved and spiked his hair up a little. Though they are small gestures, Quistis takes notice.

Zell strode out with a pair of plaid colored sleep paints and no shirt. Quistis' eyes widen, she was amazed at how Zell was the perfect little package. His upper torso was extremely defined; it could make any woman drool.

Her face started to redden as she stared at her very attractive friend, though she hadn't realized it until now. After breaking out of her reverie she noticed Zell staring at her with an agitated look on his face.

"Quistis what do you want with me?" Zell's tone was still very harsh and cold.

"Zell everyone misses you back at Garden, they all want you back." Quistis stated softly, as she put her hand gently on Zell's shoulder.

"Don't…." He whispered dejectedly. "I miss everyone too.."

"You miss them…but you certainly don't seem to miss me." Quistis commented.

Zell stood up and walked towards her pointing an accusing finer. "You made your choices…and I made mine! Why should you care anyway?" Zell angrily asks and then once again takes a seat in his chair.

His head hangs low as he whispers, "I..I miss…my friends…" Zell's looked softened a little and then his gaze fell on Quistis and just as he did his cold eyes returned. "But you know as well as I do, I don't have any real friends. They just feel guilty for me leaving don't they? They feel guilty because they finally realized the truth, the truth that they always cast me aside and never cared about me!" Zell proclaimed.

Quistis shot up from her seat. "Zell! You know that isn't true, they all really do care and love you." Quistis protested.

"Stop lying. You know as well as I do that I am just an outcast, a shadow destined to be shunned by the rest of humanity." Suddenly Zell looked at her with pleading eyes. "I..I thought you knew how I felt, always alone, with no one by your side, no one to talk to, but…I guess I was wrong…."

"Zell your not alone, everyone is waiting for you back at Balamb." Quistis protested.

"Ha…if they all cared about me as much as you say they do, then why didn't any of them come looking for me? And why did you come in the first place, all you keep saying is how much THEY miss me, what about you? What is your reason for being here?" Zell questioned and pierced Quistis' heart, which left her speechless.

Quistis had her gaze fixated on the floor, searching for some answers. "Zell I came, because I do know what it feels like to be alone, I…" Her sentence was abruptly cut off by Zell.

"Stop lying, you don't know what it feels like to be alone, you….YOU HAVE SEIFER!" Zell screamed catching Quistis off guard, letting his rage get the best of him. Zell could feel the tears sting at his eyes, but he wasn't going to let himself cry and feel weak, not in front of the person who tore out his heart.

Quistis was shocked, how could Zell say that? "Zell! You know damn well that Seifer and I have nothing going on!" Her voice was horse and in a state of shock.

"STOP LYING! I saw you there, even though you told me you COULDN'T go, and then I see you KISSING SEIFER! After everything you told me, how much you hate him, and could never trust him again, you still choose him….over me?" Zell was furious.

Quistis began to cry and covered her face with her hands.

It hurt Zell so much to see someone he cared about so much in pain, but what could he do; she was the one who chose this path.

"But Zell….I didn't…" That was as far as she got before her sobbing impeded her speech.

Zell couldn't believe it, was she still trying to tell him that it never happened? That was it, Zell's anger flared up; he lost all rational thought and said whatever came to mind.

"How dare you! You're still trying to lie to me, right to my face! Don't tell me it didn't happen, I SAW IT! And don't try and tell me you didn't mean too, of course you did, and I finally know why. It's because of Squall!"

Quistis' head shot up upon hearing that name. Tears still raging through her eyes.

"That's right Quistis!" Zell smirk and then closed the trap. "You kissed Seifer because you couldn't do that with Squall! You've wanted Squall for so long, that you finally caved in and went for second best….Seifer…"

Zell's words completely stole her breath. Could Zell have really changed that much, to intentionally say something he knew would hurt her?

Fire raged in her eyes and boiled her tears. She stood up to full impending height and a smirk too slithered onto her features. "Well Zell I may have hurt you, but at least I didn't kill anyone, or in your case blow up an entire GARGEN!" Quistis' words were dripping with derision.

But just as soon as they slipped out she wanted to crawl in a hole and die. She knew Zell took the Tribia Garden incident very hard. He still hasn't recovered from it; every time someone mentions anything about it he feels terrible and goes completely silent. It takes at least a few days until Zell starts talking and acting normal again.

She could see the hurt burn his eyes, but just as soon as it came it was gone and hate was all that was left.

"LEAVE ME ALONE! GET OUT!" Zell screamed so loud he thought his lungs were going to burst.

It probably wasn't a good idea to make someone who has been drinking and who was already upset with you even angrier. Quistis could see the horrible hatred burning through his eyes. For the first time she was honestly afraid for her life. She had never seen Zell like this, and she knew she probably shouldn't have said what she did, but Zell provoked her.

She was so scared, she felt like a deer staring helplessly into the headlights of a Mac truck. She couldn't' move as she witnessed Zell's tremendous anger take hold of him.

"I SAID GET OOOUUUTTT!" Zell couldn't control himself; he rushed over to Quistis position in the room and backed her up to the adjacent wall.

Quistis saw the berserk in Zell's eyes, he was purely insane.

"GEEET…" Zell's yell frightened Quistis to the point where her knees buckled and she collapses to the floor. "OOOUUUTTT!" Zell yelled while slamming his fist straight through the wall.

Quistis looks up to see Zell's fist jammed into the wall…where her head previously occupied. Was Zell's fist actually intended for her? Did he really mean to strike Quistis in the face? Quistis couldn't believe it, this wasn't Zell. The Zell she knew would always protect and comfort her, the Zell she knew would never harm her, right now he would be holding her in his loving arms like he used….before she crushed him.

She looked up at Zell, whose fist was still lodged in the wall and he was panting heavily with his head hung low. She looked into his eyes and saw they were glazed over, yet the ever present coldness was there. His gaze finally focused on her once more and hatred poured from his eyes, flooding the room.

Quistis knew if she didn't leave now something bad was going to happen. She stood up and rushed towards the door.

"Zell! I…I will never forgive you!" Quistis cried as she rushed out the door leaving Zell in his room yelling. Just as she slammed the door shut a loud boom echoed throughout the hall, knocking Quistis back on the ground.

She looked up shocked at what could create such a sound and saw Zell's fist bloody, from all of the splinters tearing through his skin, as it protrudes through the door. She couldn't believe that Zell could actually do something like that.

Being intoxicated was no excuse; she vowed never to forgive him for what he had done. "Yes I had deceived him, and even hurt him…" Quistis stated, but just as soon as she was about to speak again the echo came back, '_but I had my reasons…._' She quickly shook her head clearing her thoughts and continued with her previous statement. "I may have done those things, but I have never tried to…kill him or physically hurt him before!"

Quistis ran down the hall crying, just wishing there was someway to get back to Balamb tonight, but she knew the trains weren't running this late and she would have to purchase a room. Luckily she had enough money and she didn't have to spend the night with…Zell or alone on the streets.

After getting her room, she went in and started her shower. The hot water caressing her delicate skin, flowing down her back, and off her petite legs. The water was the most refreshing thing Quistis could remember in a long time.

After her shower she got ready for bed. While lying down her thoughts drifted to Zell.

'_How…how could he do something like that? That just isn't like him….did he actually try to hurt me? It seemed that way.' _Tears quickly welled up in her eyes, she tried to hold them back, but their attacks were relentless, and eventually spilled.

'_Zell, I didn't mean to say those things to you, but I…I had no choice…I'm so sorry Zell…I promise I will NEVER bother you again…..'_

With that final thought Quistis cried herself to sleep….

**Author's Note:** Hey sorry this chapter took so long to post, but it's because my computer was being stupid. I tried loading it up, and it kept on giving me an error on this site, and then it told me it was taking to long to load. So I'M SORRY:( I didn't mean it. But well I got everything working again, so I hope you like this chapter, probably only a few more to go. And as always, I just want to thank my "Three Musketeers" -Aznd45, Pkrns, and CD104, THANK YOU! Keep sneding me reviews, I need them. Also after this story I was going to do another one, with Zell or Quistis as the main char. I had some ideas, like either Zell **accidently** causes Quistis to loose her memory, or after the Ultimicia battle, the pressure of being the "best" gets to Zell and causes him to be totally different or something, I have a couple others, but I just want to show you these two so you can pick the best one and then compare it to the others later. But if any of you have a cool idea for a story with either Zell or Quistis and you would like me to try and write it, just tell me. Ideas are always welcome, and Reviews! Later... :)


	16. A Hard Apology

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the FFVIII char. I just own the story, so please **read, review and enjoy!  
**

**Ch.16:** _**A Hard Apology**_

After a very troubled sleep Zell awakes with a pounding headache. He groggily looks around and notices he passed out on his very small and uncomfortable couch.

He lets out a yawn and sits up. He stretches floridly, all his muscles were cramped up from the night before.

"Ugh, it feels like I got hit by an ultima spell." Zell leans his head to one side, so he can crack his neck.

Noticing a terrible stench in the air, he plugs his noise. He soon realizes that horrible smell is coming from him.

"Whoa…I'm selling a little too manly." Zell staggers over to the shower and turns on the faucet. The comforting sound of water eases his throbbing headache.

With the water at soothing temperature Zell hops in. The droplets cascade down his exhausted body, washing away the fatigue. He closes his eyes and leans back against the shower wall, enjoying the moment of peace.

Suddenly his eyes shoot open as thoughts of Quistis enter his mind.

"What happened last night? Was that just a dream….I hope so…" Zell's eyes began darting back and forth as he tries to recollect the previous night's events.

He hurriedly finishes his shower and rushes to the living room. His jaw drops and a swarm of guilt and fear corrode his stomach.

"Damn! What…what have I done?" Zell rushed out the door, only to realize he was only in his boxers. He ran back inside, threw on his patented shorts and shirt and then once again rushed back out the door.

"Wait, where the hell am I going?" He paused for a moment and decided he would head back down the lounge in the lower quarters of the hotel.

He takes a seat and orders a water.

'_Wow I can barely remember last night, but I know those holes in the wall aren't a part of the décor. I did that, and I think…..they were meant for….Quistis.' _

Zell's water arrives and he takes a big long gulp. His throat welcomed its cool embrace much more than that of the harsh burning sensation of liquor.

'_Hey who cares right! Why should I feel bad, she never felt bad all those times she made me feel worthless right? Plus she lied to me, and tore my heart out, so she deserved it…didn't she?'_

Zell's contemplating wasn't leading one way or the other.

'_Well if she feels upset why doesn't she go crying to….Seifer! Yeah let him go comfort her!' _Zell thought with a frown plastered on his face. Zell exhales a large exaggerated sigh.

'_But if she doesn't care about me, then…then why did she come and find me?' _Zell's heart began to ache as his feelings for the one he loved came rushing back.

'_But…but she chose….Seifer….' _Zell shakes his head.

'_Well I should at least try and make amends. I should tell her I'm happy for her, because unlike me she was actually able to find someone. Someone to hold her and care for her, why should my loneliness deny her of happiness? I just have to accept the fact that I will forever be…alone….with no one by my side..._

Zell quickly takes a final gulp of his water and then heads back upstairs to the front desk.

'_Well I know she couldn't have taken a train back last night, it was way too late, I just hope she decided to stay a night here…not to mention I hope she didn't already leave, I don't think could live with myself knowing we left things the way that we did.'_

Zell makes his way to the front desk, and receives a hearty greeting from the lady behind the counter.

"Yes, is there someone staying here by the name of a Miss Quistis Trepe?" Zell asked politely.

The lady puts the information and the computer and begins her search. The more and more time it takes the more worried Zell becomes.

'_Damn, knowing her she was up and gone by daybreak!' _Zell cursed himself for being too late.

"I'm sorry sir, I don't see anyone on the list who's staying here by that name."

Zell's head hangs low. "Thanks." Zell replied dejectedly and begins to leave.

"Oh wait, sorry sir, yes I do see a Quistis Trepe on the list."

Zell's ears perk up, and his face brightens. "Yeah! What room?" Zell asks excitedly.

"Room no. 337." The lady stated sweetly.

Zell quickly said his goodbyes and rushed to the elevator. He presses the button and waits for the elevator to open.

He begins tapping his shoe on the ground with his arms crossed as he becomes rapidly impatient.

"Ah screw this!" Zell yells, and makes a sprint for the stairs. While running he didn't realize how out of shape he was. Finally after way too many flights for Zell he reaches the right one.

"Oh, thank Hyne." Zell gasps, panting heavily.

Zell catches his breath and begins walking down the hall searching for the right room. After a few more steps he comes across room 337.

"Alright Zell, here we go. Just apologize and tell her you're happy for her and pray that she doesn't try and use her whip on me." Zell sighs knowing this isn't going to be easy.

He knocks on the door three times somewhat softly. He waits patiently, but the door doesn't open. He knocks a few more times much louder and once again waits patiently. After a few seconds he starts getting worried.

"Damn too late!" He curses himself.

He leans forward and puts his ear up to the door, listening for any kind of movement. All he can hear is dead silence. Just as Zell was about to take his ear off the door, it sweeps open and Zell falls face first into living room.

Zell rubs the side of his face rapidly and quickly gets up. He looks around for the person who opened the door, but he didn't see anybody.

"What the…?" Zell questions himself.

He feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. Zell quickly ducks just in time to dodge an on coming fist.

"Whoa! Hey wait!" Zell pleads holding up his hands to a furious Quistis.

"Zell I will never forgive you!" Quistis yells and swings again, only missing Zell by inches.

"Quistis, stop, this is crazy." Zell pleads.

"No you are crazy, if you actually connected with one of those punches, I could be in a coma right now, or EVEN DEAD!" Quistis yelled back, her fists clenched tight.

"Quistis I am sorry, honestly I didn't know what I was doing." Zell said sincerely.

"Yeah right, sorry that you tried to kill me! And don't give me that, I didn't know what I was doing, line, you knew perfectly what you were doing!" Quistis said enraged.

"Well it wasn't like I am the only one at fault here…" As soon as Zell said it, he knew something bad was going to happen, but like so many other things, it just slipped.

Quistis didn't even reply, she burst out into tears and took off running.

"Good one Zell! Quistis WAIT!" Zell yelled after her, but she was already down the hall.

Zell chased after her, but lost her once they got into the streets. With so many people walking around, it was like trying to find a needle in a hay stack.

"Damn! Now what!" Zell continues running, hoping to find some trace of her, but nothing. He ran for a good thirty minutes straight, but still nothing.

"By now she could be already well out of the city." Zell said dejectedly while panting heavily.

Just as he was about to give up and go back to his hotel he could hear small whimpers coming from a forest inside the park.

He rushes over only to see a broken Quistis on her knees sobbing uncontrollably.

He silently walks over and places a loving hand on her shoulder. She jumps as if she was stung by a bee, and quickly slides away from him.

"Quistis please…" Zell started, only for Quistis to interrupt him.

"Zell get away from me! I hate you!" Quistis cried through her tears.

"Yeah I knew that before now." Zell replied smugly, but quickly stuttered over his words, upon realizing that he was only making things worse.

"Err…Quistis I'm sorry, last night was…it wasn't me."

Quistis just looked at him with the same cold eyes she saw the night before.

"Zell, don't lie, it was you, the real you, the you nobody knew existed. You showed you true colors; you don't like me and never want to see me again." She had to stop because her crying impeded her ability to speak, but she quickly regained her composure.

"That's fine by me Zell; I promise I will never bother you again, if you want to live out here that is fine by me! Now just leave me alone!" Quistis yelled vehemently.

"Quistis….." Zell pleaded with her, his eyes searching hers. He reached out for her, but she quickly backed away.

"Zell leave me alone!" She turned around and started walking away.

"Stop! Why are you always running away from your problems?" Zell yelled as his anger got the best of him, yet again.

Quistis eyes flared and her blood began to boil. She whipped around with a look of despite that frightened even Zell.

"Run away, ha you're one to talk Zell, just because you think your life isn't perfect, and come across one small bump in the road; you take off like a small child! Don't ever lecture me on running away from my problems!" Quistis pointed an accusing finger.

"Well what! What did you want me to do? I have nobody to talk to, you either ignore me or chastise me and tell me I'm worthless. So what Quistis? What do you want from me! The only choices I had, was to yes, run away or, or, THIS!" Zell yelled and ripped off his right glove to expose a scare from a savage laceration across his wrist.

Quistis hands instinctively flew up to her mouth. Tears began to flow more willingly now, as Quistis saw Zell's true pain. She collapses to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably.

"See Quistis, is this what you want, huh! Is it? ANSWER ME!" Zell's anger went through the roof; it felt like fire was flowing through his veins. He turned around and punched the nearby tree with everything he had creating a sickening crack sound that echoed throughout the forest.

Quistis' head shot up upon hearing the horrific noise, to see Zell standing there with his hand dangling limply next to his side. It looked horrible, yeah Zell's fists were insanely strong, but they weren't meant for this. It bruised instantly and bled profusely as large bits and pieces of tree barks protruded from his skin.

Quistis was breathless, as she gazed upon this horrendous sight before her.

"Well Quistis, are you happy? Does my pain cause you happiness? Huh because it sure looks that way. First you crush my spirits by telling me I'm worthless and then you crush my heart by Kissing Seifer behind my back! I guess the only thing left is to crush my body, right? Well believe me I would do anything to make you happy even if it means...TAKING MY OWN LIFE! If you are happy that is all that matters to me." Zell was in a frenzy.

"Zell…" Was all that Quistis could mouth, her words were devoid of all sound. She couldn't speak or even think, all she could do was just look and listen.

Zell walks over to Quistis and takes her by the hand. "Quistis please, please just tell me what you want from me? I'll do anything for you….please…." Zell begged, his eyes began to water, as he pleaded with the older blonde as she sits sobbing on the ground.

Quistis gazed up into Zell's eyes, searching for the person she once knew.

"I want…I want the old Zell…" Quistis whispered in Zell's ear, before getting up and shoving him back.

Zell was stunned; he didn't know what to say. The old Zell?

"The old Zell….is gone….you…killed him…" Zell whispered just loud enough for Quistis to hear….

**Author's Note: ** Well there's the next chapter, I really hope you all like it! I think there may be only one or two more to go. I think I have a pretty good ending in store, or at least I hope so. But still I would like to say thanks to everyone who made this possible and gave me reviews! Also I still would like to hear your opinions on what my next story should be. Either Quistis who loses her memory, or the pressure of being the best gets to Zell, or one with Zell and Seifer(don't worry not as lovers! Zell isn't gay! Neither is Seifer for that matter!) Well please tell me what I should do for the next one, or give me a new idea, it's all up to you guys, THANKS! Please Review and tell me what you think! Later...


	17. Final Heaven

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the char. of FFVIII. Read, review and enjoy!**  
**

**Ch. 17 _Final Heaven_**

"The old Zell….is gone….you…killed him…" Zell whispered just loud enough for Quistis to hear….

Zell turned around to leave, but was stopped as a warm embrace that came from behind. Zell could feel soft wet tears moisten the back of his neck.

"Zell…." Quistis whispered ever so lightly.

Zell reached his hands up to squeeze the hands already occupying his chest.

Zell could feel Quistis' soft hands; they felt like they were encased in Egyptian silk. They were so smooth and burning with a comforting warmth. Zell could feel his heart ache with each passing moment.

"Zell you…you can't go." Quistis begged.

"Quistis…" He barely whispered her name, but something in his voice made her pause. She squeezed her eyes shut, and the tears that threatened to spill finally ran down her cheeks. Zell's heart twisted painfully.

"Why….?" Zell questioned softly.

"Because Zell….I…it isn't right for you to leave Garden like this, and most of all, leave your friends and family." Quistis sobbed into Zell's back, praying that she would be enough to keep Zell here.

"Quistis, I don't want to leave everyone, but...I have no choice."

"Zell, you do have a choice, you can choose to stay." Quistis argued, through unshed tears.

Zell just shakes his head solemnly. "Like you said, you want the old Zell, but…" Zell swallowed hard. "The old Zell is gone, I've changed Quistis, and not for the better." It hurt Zell more than anything to try to explain to the only person he ever loved that he must leave her forever. Tears began their relentless attack on Zell's eyes, but by shear willpower he would not let a single tear fall, not in front of her.

"Don't say things like that, Zell, you may have changed, but I know the fun loving you, everyone has come to love **is** still in there. Just please come back, nobody would be the same if you left." Quistis' grasp got tighter with each word.

"Quisty…." Zell turned around to face the beautiful female blonde, her head was still hung low, but cupping her chin Zell gently tilted her delicate face up to meet his gaze.

"You know I would do anything for you…." Zell said lovingly and gently moved his hand from her chin to the side of her face while brushing a strand of her breathtaking golden locks from her tear stricken face.

Quistis' tears immediately began to spill, upon gazing into Zell's dazzling cerulean eyes.

Zell had a soft warm smile melted onto his face. His thumb gently rubbed Quistis' cheek and traced her jawbone. "Quistis I…..love you….so much….I'm doing this all for you…" Zell said with unshed tears stinging his eyes.

Quistis couldn't take it anymore, she plunged head first into Zell's chest, sobbing uncontrollably. "Zell, what don't you understand? If you want to do something for me…don't…don't go!" Quistis cried.

Zell let out a very deep and heavy sigh, and soothingly rubbed Quistis' beautiful honey colored hair.

"Please Zell….Pl…Please…." Quistis choked out through her sobbing.

"I…I'm sorry Quistis…." Zell said dejectedly.

Zell somberly broke her loving embrace and started to walk away.

Quistis collapsed to her knees, because she was crying so hard.

It took every ounce of self control and strength for Zell not to run back to her and wrap her in his loving arms and tell her he will stay, and he will never leave her.

"ZELL……. I…..I LOVE YOU!" Quistis cried before Zell was gone forever.

"Zell stopped yet again, but this time it wasn't because he wanted too, but because he just couldn't move. Very fiber in his body was paralyzed. He couldn't believe what he just heard; Quistis actually…..loves him.

Quistis sat on her knees sobbing hysterically in her hands.

"Zell…please don't leave me…I've lived in loneliness for so long! Zell…please…everyone I've ever cared about always leaves me….that's why, that is why I tried not to get close to you…first my real parents…then Squall….Zell I didn't want to lose you too…but I guess I went the wrong way about everything…I'm so sorry Zell, I honestly didn't mean to hurt you in any way…. Zell I'm…sorry..."

Quistis finally broke; she was spilling her entire soul to Zell. He finally understands the true reason why she was pushing him away for so long.

Quistis could feel a warm sensation on her hands making her rise to her feet. Her tear filled eyes open to see a blurry vision of a sympathetic and loving Zell.

"Quistis, you don't need to be scared anymore….I…I'm sorry for the way I acted, but now I understand…that night in the Secrete Spot, when I finally told you I loved you, I didn't understand what you meant but now I do…When you said 'Please forgive me' I…I didn't know what you were asking me to forgive you for and now I do, but it should be I asking for your forgiveness. My rash actions were inexcusable and I'm sorry."

Zell wrapped his arms tenderly around Quistis as she buried her face in his strong chest, and returned the warm embrace.

There they stand two scared lovers desperately holding on to each other, never wanting to let go, for fear of seclusion and loneliness. There embrace ignited a fire deep inside both of them, one wishing that this moment would never end.

"Quistis…?" Zell questioned softly.

'_No Zell, please don't…please... ´ _Quistis mind screamed.

"Will you promise me, that I will be the only one who can call you…mine…? That I will be the one who is always there for you in yur time of need?" Zell whispered in her ear.

Quistis began sobbing even harder in Zell's chest.

"Zell I…" Quistis started but couldn't finish as her tears closed up her throat.

"Quistis please…I...I love you so much…I promise I will never leave you…Just promise we will always be together….I love you." Zell pleaded with the woman of his dreams.

Quistis couldn't breathe; no one in her entire life has ever said such deep heartfelt things to her. For the first time in her life, someone actually loves her, and who cares more about her wellbeing than their own life….someone who would be willing to spend the rest of their life with her. Quistis never imagined that she could possibly find a person that would always be there for her no matter what, someone who would always cherish and hold her when she was scared, or who would make her laugh whenever she was sad.

"Quistis….?" Zell whispered her name softly in her ear.

_'Zell I'm sorry, but I...no..I can't, I wont hurt you again!' _

"Zell I…I can't….I can't make you that promise…" Quistis words were practically inaudible, but Zell heard them, they echoed throughout his mind, and pierced his heart.

For the first time, finally Zell let his tears flow willingly.

Quistis could feel Zell's silent sobs, and then her neck moistened from his painful tears.

"_Why Quistis? Why can't you just promise Zell?'_ Quistis' thoughts cursed her. "Zell I'm...I'm sorry..." Quistis coo'd in Zell's ear.

"It's ok Quist, I have to realize that your Seifer's, and I am truly happy for you, you finally found that special someone." Zell choked out through his tears.

"Zell…no, I am not Seifer's, and never will be, but with you …and me…I…" Quistis halted in her statement as Zell placed a finger over her lips, stealing the words from her mouth.

"Quist, it's ok, you don't have to explain yourself to me, I love you, that's all there is."

Zell wiped the warm tears from Quistis' cheek and she did the same for him. As they stand there lost in each other's eyes, Zell leaned in slowly as Quistis did the same. Only seconds passed before their lips met and time...stopped. Quistis' lips seemed to fit perfectly in Zell's, like the final puzzle piece that completes the puzzle. This wasn't any normal kiss, it wasn't the slow, gentle kisses couples give, or the quick pecks whenever a couple meets or parts company. This was a searing, almost desperate kiss; one that ignited a fire within them both. Quistis' nails dug into Zell's back; and then she stabbed her fingers into his thick blonde hair, holding his head perfectly still while their lips met. Zell slipped his arms around her waist, trying to pull her even more tightly to him, to mold her into himself so that they would become one, body and soul, and never have to part.

Reluctantly, and only for lack of air, they drew back a few inches, still clinging to one another desperately. Both were panting, shaking with the emotions tearing through them, neither willing to draw away. Quistis' arms were wrapped around Zell's neck; he could feel her heart thudding against his chest, echoing the thunderous rhythm of his own.

Finally, Zell broke the embrace, and once again time seemed to commence.

"Zell please don't leave me….don't leave me alone…" Quistis pleaded with him.

Zell grabbed her tiny hand and placed it over his heart. It pulsed through her entire body.

"Quistis, you're never alone, you feel that, it beats…for you…whenever you feel lonely or scared, and you feel you have no place to go….inside my heart, there is...your…Final Heaven….I'll be waiting for you…"

Zell stepped back, taking a last final look, memorizing her face, her slender body every inch of her.

"I love you" Zell mouthed, not trusting his voice at the moment.

Zell slowly put his hand over his heart, and Quistis did the same.

Quistis was breathless, standing there biting her lip, though it was a worthless effort at trying to keep back her tears, as she watched as the only person who truly loved her in such a way….fade with the sunset...

**Author's Note:** Well there ya go! It's all done, I don't know, I hope you guys liked the ending, I worked really hard on it. I finally explained why Quistis was mad at Zell this whole time, I hope you like the reason. I really wanted to make this a happy ending for both of them, but it just worked out this way, I'm sorry! But how could Quistis promise him something like that, when she can't even promise herself true love? Well I can't say **THANK YOU** enough to **AZND45, PKRNS, and of course CD104!** You were all awesome, I owe this entire story to you guys! Without your reviews, I don't think it would have turned out like this, it may have actually never gotten done, so from the bottom of my heart **THANK YOU:)** Also because of **CD104's** suggestion I've decided my next fanfic will be one where Zell accidentally causes Quistis to loose her memory! I just hope that all those who made this story possible will be there to support me on my next story as well! Well later...


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